Say hello and introduce yourself

[LynneMcV]

Hello @Gail G and welcome to Dementia Support Forum. I am sorry to hear of your husband's diagnosis but glad that you have a friend who pointed you to us.

When my late husband was diagnosed I found this forum a massive source of support and knowledge. Have a look around, and when you are ready, perhaps start a thread in the I have a partner with dementia area.

There will be lots of people here who can relate to your experience and will share with you what has helped them.

 

[Izzy]

Welcome to the forum @Gail G.

I’m so glad your friend pointed you in this direction! You will get so much understanding and support here.

When you’re ready please consider staring a thread in the I Have A Partner With Dementia area of the forum.

I have a partner with dementia

This forum is for people with a partner or spouse with dementia.

forum.alzheimers.org.uk

You can use it to ask questions, share concerns - or in any way you want to. You will find members will respond with support based on their own experiences.

Edit - oops. Lynne has already suggested starting your own thread! Sorry!

 

[Kathy68]

Hi my names kath my mum has been diagnosed with vascular and Alzheimer’s we just heard today so I’m really wanting to know any information I can get about Alzheimer’s she does have carers going in twice a week but she just insists on the cleaning as she thinks she doesn’t need care herself

 

[Tony S]

Hi @Tony S
Welcome to the forum.
When my OH was in fairly early stage of Alz's, her sister sent some memory cards - they have pictures on one side (to evoke some memory and start a simple discussion/conversation) and the words of various old songs on the other side (to sing and music often brings back memories by association). I don't know if that's the sort of thing that may help your mum. If so try the Alzheimer's Society shop. They have other ideas, games, etc as well.
Best wishes.

Thanks, will have a look in the shop. Tony

 

[northumbrian_k]

Hi @Kathy68 and welcome to Dementia Support Forum where you will find many understanding members with experience of many aspects of dementia. I am sorry to hear about your Mum. The links below might be useful. Do come back any time you have questions or something you would like to share.

Alzheimer's disease: Understanding your diagnosis

If you have recently been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, this booklet is for you. It will help you, and your family and friends, to understand more about the condition and how it can affect you.

www.alzheimers.org.uk

Vascular dementia: Understanding your diagnosis

If you have recently been diagnosed with vascular dementia, this booklet is for you. It will help you, and your family and friends, to understand more about the condition and how it can affect you.

www.alzheimers.org.uk

 

[Lonewoolf]

Hi everyone, I have just joined this great forum... my friend told me about it and I would like to say a big Hello. but not sure how to ask a question about my mum ?

 

[LynneMcV]

Hi everyone, I have just joined this great forum... my friend told me about it and I would like to say a big Hello. but not sure how to ask a question about my mum ?

Hello @Lonewoolf and welcome to the forum.

It is good to see that you now have your thread underway on the following link

Going through an awful time with my lovely mum

I hope I am ok asking this but I am going through an awful time with my lovely mum . She's in a 'care home' and I was originally looking after my mum and dad for the last 9 years until my dad passed away from Parkinsons in April my mum went into this home last christmas because she has dementia...

forum.alzheimers.org.uk

 

[Cardamom]

Hello All, I'm caring for my father who recently had radiotherapy for throat cancer. He lives on his own in warden assisted retirement housing and is happy there. I noticed how over the last two years there has been a decline in his mental abilities and decision making. It seems to have got a lot lot worse over the last 3-4 months and to be honest I find it very difficult. When I suggested he might see a doctor about his memory he got upset saying I was worrying him. I feeling overwhelmed as I don't have any siblings to share the support.

So I've joined here looking for information, ideas and support.
Best wishes to you all - Mike

Hi @Mike41 Welcome to this kindly and supportive forum.I say that because it is exactly where I feel you will get info, ideas and support.
I think it is quite interesting that your father said your comments were "worrying him". Is it worth reframing the question and asking your father if he himself is worried aboyt his memory .
I say that because my husband was diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment(MCI) but before he agreed to enter treatment, all he did was react when I mentioned my concern aboyt his memory. In the end when he began to misplace objects and forget words but the GP engaged with him about memory ,when my husband went for his annual medication review/blood tests
When your father goes for followup for his throat cancer would one possibility be to speak to the nurse or doctor there , then they can include memory in their discussion about his throat.
Hope this helps

 

[Merrysmile]

Hi,

My Dad has just been diagnosed with mixed dementia. In order to support my parents in this I am starting to look in to the support for my Dad and my Mum (as his primary carer).

This is the beginning of the journey and I'm scared...

 

[Gosling]

Hello @Merrysmile and welcome to this friendly and supportive forum. You have come to the right place as our friendly and supportive members have a wealth of experience of many different aspects of dementia.

I am sorry to read of your Dad's recent dementia diagnosis. It is an awful lot to take in even if you were half expecting it. Please do try and remember everyone's journey through this disease is different, and it does not necessarily mean that your Dad will have all of the symptoms and issues that you may read about on here. Just take it one day at a time. This link may help you to find support in your local area.

Find support near you

Use our dementia directory to find local support services for people with dementia and their carers in England, Wales and Northern Ireland.

www.alzheimers.org.uk

Now you have found us, I know that you'll benefit by being able to share with others, join in conversations, and ask any particular questions you may like to, or just to let off a bit of steam. You will always find understanding here from members that want to help.

 

[HJS899]

Hi
My Mum, (in her late eighties), has been diagnosed with vascular dementia which seems to be in the fairly early/mid stages. She is living in a care home as she is a widow and has limited mobility. She still recognises us and remembers a lot of things but can't enjoy the hobbies she used to, like reading and knitting, as she can't concentrate. She is grieving for her husband, who died recently, and seems angry a lot of the time as she doesn't want to be in a care home. She often rings me to ask what should she do all day and gets very annoyed if people aren't coming to visit her. I live about 50 miles away and work full-time so it's hard for me to visit frequently. I'm finding her anger difficult to deal with as I can't change the situation for her but she can't seem to accept what's happening. We don't want to move her in to another care home as she is near other family and her friends. The dementia seems to have heightened her insecurities as well as she says that everyone hates her. It's hard to deal with but reading some of the posts and links on here has helped.

 

[northumbrian_k]

Hi @HJS899 and welcome to Dementia Support Forum. This is a great place to find support from people who truly understand and are happy to share their experience and good suggestions.

 

[lindamam]

Hi all, my Mother has Alzheimer's and moved into a dementia care home this month. I worked for many years with this group of people in a hospital setting, but am finding it stressful and upsetting having to cope with everything as I have no siblings and neither does my mother. So different when it's your own family.

 

[lindamam]

Exactly the same foe me. Working in this sector does not make it any easier. Talk and get help from your colleagues. I tapped into everyone who I felt could help and support me. Do you have an admiral nurse in your work place?

 

[aladinscave]

Hi, new to the group. Mum has dementia. Reading everyone's struggles and the antics of loved ones has been helpful and made me realise that what I deal with is quite "normal" and just part of this dreadful disease. Grateful for this space.

 

[Talker]

Dear Grannie G especially, but everybody else too,

Years ago - but after 2006 when Grannie G started here - I started here under another name and leaned on Talking Point through the searing process of realising how ill my husband was, how no decline is like any other decline, how frail and inadequate I was, how angry I was, how sad I was.

And on Talking Point I found wisdom, experience, companionship, understanding, tolerance, limitless resources. Reassurance that my and my husband's tragedy was a normal tragedy.

I am not sure I stayed here until my husband's death. But the other day I remembered Talking Point having all but forgotten much of those years. Bereavement maybe helped by the strange behaviour of memory.
I remembered it because an old friend was asking for help with her husband. And after I had recommended Talking Point I thought I should come back on and check you were still here.

And here you are and here is Grannie G and I want to thank you. I still have two friends from Talking Point and all three of us remember Talking Point with warmth and gratitude despite our tragedies.

Love from

Talker

PS Have reread this and feel I have not explained properly how much help I had - and thereby my husband had too.

 

[MaisieJane61]

Hello! I’m Karen and I’ve joined this forum as my husband has Alzheimer’s. Things have been more difficult recently with his verbal aggression (and a bit of physical too). He’s always been prone to being angry but this is getting really exhausting. I’ve read a few messages and it looks like many of you have similar and more challenging experiences. It is just helpful to know there are people here who understand. I’m sorry it’s so difficult for so many of you.

 

[Izzy]

Welcome to the forum @MaisieJane61.

I’m sorry to hear about your husband’s diagnosis. It’s good that you’ve found the forum.

It might be helpful for you to start your own thread in the I Have A Partner With Dementia area of the forum -

I have a partner with dementia

This forum is for people with a partner or spouse with dementia.

forum.alzheimers.org.uk

Please keep yourself safe. Try to keep your mobile phone with you and if possible get to another room if your husband becomes physically aggressive. If necessary phone the police.

 

[Izzy]

PS Have reread this and feel I have not explained properly how much help I had - and thereby my husband had too.

I think you have explained it perfectly. I think it’s lovely that you’ve come back and shared with everyone.

 

[Talker]

I think you have explained it perfectly. I think it’s lovely that you’ve come back and shared with everyone.

You were there too! It is like meeting old friends. Unless there's another Izzy. I won't put in public what I remember because you might be another Izzy and/or this might not be the place. But I do hope your life is going as well as possible. And I am sure by moderating you are making a very constructive contribution to the world. I am just sorry to learn you have been bereaved.