Saw mum at the Nursing Home...

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by florence43, Jul 25, 2010.

  1. florence43

    florence43 Registered User

    Jul 1, 2009
    Well, I saw mum today. Built up all my reserve and walked confidently into the building carrying a suitcase, fan and a bag full of cranberry juice.

    Mum's room is very nice. Bit sterile but it's a brand new NH and there are not that many residents yet. Very quiet and clean, which is a good thing, I suppose, but there was no soul, no activity, no buzz.

    Anyway, mum was asleep when we (my two little boys and I) arrived, so we bustled around putting photos up, clothes in drawers, and plugging the radio in (desperately needed some atmosphere). After 10 minutes, mum opened her eyes and with a little smile said hello, and promptly went back into a deep sleep. Another 15 minutes later she opened one eye for 5 seconds but that was it. All in all, we stayed for an hour, read the Sunday paper to her and gave her cranberry juice through a straw (her eyes shut the whole time). She opened her eyes again when Eddie (4 and a half!) lay next to her on the bed, but only for a few seconds, and one last time just before we left.

    The way she looked at me was really odd. Her eyes didn't look like her eyes. They looked smaller and lighter in colour. Like plastic eyes, or dolls' eyes. I know she was sleepy but she was staring at me, and her dear old brown eyes looked really empty. I'm used to her being in a bit of a trance but I've not seen them like this before. She stared at me for about 5 seconds and went back to that deep sleep. We couldn't even rouse her when we were leaving and she slept right through having her finger nails cut. She just wanted to sleep.

    Apparently, she had a "good breakfast", and was bright this morning...

    All very strange, but I suppose I didn't know what to expect. It was my first visit to my mum at her Nursing Home. Not something I've rehearsed & nothing to compare it to. But at least she wasn't distressed. I was, but I hid it very well. I simply said what a lovely hospital this was, compared to St. Peter's... Much nicer to have a private room... x

    There. I've done it. She's done it. Now, baby steps to see what happens now.

    Annie x
  2. turbo

    turbo Registered User

    Aug 1, 2007
    Hello Annie, It sounds as if you coped well with your first visit to your Mum in her Nursing Home. It really is a case of taking it day by day. I suppose because it is a new nursing home it will take time for everyone to settle, staff included.
    Hope your Mum is awake for your next visit. Please let us know how she is settling in.

  3. Goingitalone

    Goingitalone Registered User

    Feb 11, 2010
    Hi Annie,

    We are all at various stages on this journey and each day teaches us something else.

    I haven't got to the stage you're on yet, but I do feel for you. It's a hard stage to reach.

    Well done for coping so well and caring so much. And thanks for sharing your experience with us.

    Hope it goes smoothly for you and your mum.


  4. CaPattinson

    CaPattinson Registered User

    May 19, 2010
    West Yorks
    WELL DONE ANNIE!You've got the right attitude- baby steps. Mums room will become more homely soon and it won't seem so strange. Familiar objects and personal items will make it more inviting and comfortable. Kind thoughts and warm wishes to you and your family, take care XXX Chris :)
  5. thatwoman

    thatwoman Registered User

    Mar 25, 2009
    Well done Annie. Next time will probably be easier. Maybe Mum is tired from the move?
    Take care, love Sue x
  6. louise@weinprop

    louise@weinprop Registered User

    May 12, 2005
    Hi Annie - I have the same scenario with my husband. Sometimes I can visit him at the nursing home and he will not open his eyes, but will open his mouth for chocolate, and other times he is as perky as a pea, so I assume this is just another symptom of this dreadful disease. I still talk to him and stroke his hands because I am sure they know we are there even if their eyes are closed.
    Lots of love to you all,

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