I've go a mantra to try to get through time with mum without going berserk. 'it's not her fault, it's the dementia talking'. Sometimes it works, other times, well it just doesn't. Tonight it just didn't. I struggle so much with the crazy thoughts and delusions, I don't know how to just go with them. Like the invisible people who frequent my mums house and this week managed to eat a huge block of her cheese and stole her milk, or her carer who loves the job so much she breaks into the house to rearrange mums bedroom on her day off. I want to scream with reasonable answers which of course are useless, but when I go with it she is still angry, or upset or distressed. I seem to spend 99% of the time getting it wrong and it's so disheartening, I want to be able to like my mum and to spend time with her, but every time I see her, she moans and complains and accuses and tells me I'm awful. Today she wrecked our family dinner as she was sulking. She is threatening to stop going to the day centre, I will crumble if that happens, 3 nights a week we get to have dinner without mum as the carer sorts out a light tea after daycare. When mum didn't go one day last week I nearly cried, those nights where we can be ourselves are just too precious.