Hi everyone, haven't been on for a while. My 90 year old mum has been 5 months in the dementia home, separated from my 99 year old dad who is in another home 7 miles away. It has been heartbreaking to separate them, my dad is philosophical about it and likes his care home so won't move to the 'normal' part of mum's care home. We take him over to see her but they just hold hands and get upset (my mum is still just about aware of who we all are) so we do wonder if we are doing them more harm than good. My mum thinks dad is around most of the time anyway as she lives in the past but also she gets fixated with other men in the home thinking they are him (which has caused trouble when their real wives come to visit!). I just feel so sad. Last Christmas they were together in their own home (although not doing very well) and I still cannot get my head around what has happened this year. We are all visiting Xmas eve but cannot do Xmas day and that upsets me. I know we are all in the same boat so I wish you all the happiest Xmas you can have under these circumstances!