Hi, looking for some help please, My dad has recently died, 31st August, he was my mom's carer, only he did such a good job we are now left picking up the pieces, so along with trying to cope with the funeral and the loss we are trying to care for my mom. She has been deterating for about 18 months with significant down hill signs over the last 6 months. Dad was only Ill for a short time and had been covering up how bad my mom was. There are times when she is very lucid and you would not think there was an issue, at other times she has no idea who my brother and I are, that she is our mom or the length of time that she was married (57 years) she thinks she has been away and come back, they lived together in the same house for the last 44 years. We are currently spending every night with her and almost constant 24 hour cover, only we can't continue this, there are only three of us, me (married, two kids and a full time job) my brother (married, just retired and has a young granddaughter) and my aunt who is 80. Prior to my dad dying there has been no medical intervention or any tests done, we have had a private assessment done by someon recommended by the solicitor, the outcome of which was that mom should not be on her own. She has good and bad days but basically is very vulnerable. We can't sustain what we have been doing, she is beginning to realise that's she is unable to remain in the family home on her own, but where do we go next, a retirement home is her worst nightmare, and I'm not sure she is at that stage, she can dress, shower and feed herself, but can't drive, can't do more than make a sandwich or breakfast. I'm not sure how assisted the assisted living apartments are? I feel if we go straight to a retirement home we have jumped a step, but also not sure how safe she is on her own, safe as in she may go out the front door and get lost, she may of course put the kettle on with no water in it. None of which she has done, but that's because we are here and won't allow her to. Is there some sort of half way house? I also live an hour and 20 minutes away, and at some point need to return to work, and my family. Which makes me feel very guilty, as I want the best for her and the right sort of support. Does anyone have any suggestions, or experience?