Respite or not

[Briege]

Sorry, I seem to be coming on every day now looking advice but I'm finding it so hard to cope. My OH had another big dip 2 weeks ago and a bad fall on Sunday. He usually doesnt recognise me as his wife but I think he feels safe with me. Most times doesnt know where he is, is waiting for his dad to call for him etc. Social worker has recommended respite to give me a break. I'm on my own with him, no family to help but I get a carer 4 hours a week so I can shop and have a break. Does anyone know does respite make it harder when they come home again. Do they lose trust, do they no longer feel safe. He seems to be deteriorating so quickly although as someone said in a previous post if I started querying his memory 8 years ago it isn't really so sudden. I can't leave him on his own now, he's not capable of cooking operating tv and can never find the bathroom. I've buckets everywhere but yesterday he didn't even see the bucket and peed up the side of the dresser. He also can't focus on things. If I set a coffee on side table he can't see it until I hold it and point it out. Sorry I'm rambling now. Could anyone let me know their experience of respite please.

 

[Sarasa]

@Briege, I don't think respite would hasten your husband's decline, but being in a strange place might highlight his limitations in a way being in familiar surroundings, even if he doesn't always recognise them does. I wasn't in exactly the same situation as I didn't live with my mum, but when she went into care it became obvious how good she'd become at hiding her limitations from me as I only saw her a couple of times a week.
I'd organise some to give you a chance to re-charge your batteries and consider the nest steps.

 

[Canadian Joanne]

@Briege as @Sarasa has said, there would not be any decline because of respite but it would clearly and sadly show the losses wrought by the disease.

If the social worker has recommended respite, please grab it with both hands.

 

[Briege]

@Briege, I don't think respite would hasten your husband's decline, but being in a strange place might highlight his limitations in a way being in familiar surroundings, even if he doesn't always recognise them does. I wasn't in exactly the same situation as I didn't live with my mum, but when she went into care it became obvious how good she'd become at hiding her limitations from me as I only saw her a couple of times a week.
I'd organise some to give you a chance to re-charge your batteries and consider the nest steps.

Thanks. This has made me much more comfortable about it. I was frightened of the after affects but as you say he won't be any worse

 

[Briege]

@Briege as @Sarasa has said, there would not be any decline because of respite but it would clearly and sadly show the losses wrought by the disease.

If the social worker has recommended respite, please grab it with both hands.

Thank you. Yes I think it's time to accept that I need that help