1. Mossyanne1

    Mossyanne1 Registered User

    Feb 10, 2015
    45
    My OH is going in for respite care next week for the first time and I am getting really anxious. Will he like it, will he settle, how often should I visit him, will he want to come home. Couldn't sleep last night just kept worrying about it. Would appreciate any help from you kind people.


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  2. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    8,007
    Norfolk
    I'm waiting for my hubby to go into a month's respite care from hospital, so don't know the ropes yet, although I was told at one meeting that I'd be able to take him out for a treat when I visit. Have to see what happens when we're at that stage.

    Is your hubby going from home, Mossyanne1?
     
  3. mabbs

    mabbs Registered User

    Dec 1, 2014
    238
    Lancashire
    I cant comment because not had respite, but I am sure there will be someone along who can answer your queries soon, in the meantime try not to worry, and make the most of the rest, it will do you good, and you will know your OH is in a safe place and being well looked after. x
     
  4. Spamar

    Spamar Registered User

    Oct 5, 2013
    6,981
    Suffolk
    Mossyanne, stupid answer, but it all depends.
    When OH went into respite the first time, for two weeks, I went to visit relatives 6 hrs away, so no chance of visiting, even if I wanted to. I didn't want to because, with a short stay, He would feel I was coming to take him home. It also gave him time to settle and get to know people and staff. By not visiting or taking him out, it means he would settle - and routine is very important to him - and hopefully enjoy his 'holiday'.
     
  5. Feline

    Feline Registered User

    Oct 25, 2012
    164
    East Devon
    Hello,
    My OH went for first respite. I went away for one night, came home and had some work done in the house. My daughter visited him the day I was away and I visited two days later and brought him home two days after, time went so quickly, but anyway he was well looked after and seemed quite happy in himself and the carers took to him really well. It was very successful all round. Try not to worry, Especially if you have met the staff and are happy with where he is going.
    Hope it all goes well.
     
  6. Mossyanne1

    Mossyanne1 Registered User

    Feb 10, 2015
    45
    Thank you all for your comments, my OH will be going from home, I find that if any other person asks him to do something he responds quite well but with myself he kicks back and gets very stubborn. It is now 7.30 and just had dinner, he is absolutely sure it's morning. All so confusing for him.


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  7. Rashley

    Rashley Registered User

    Dec 21, 2014
    20
    Devon
    My husband has just been in to respite in a CH he has been using for daycare. He has been very clingy since his illness as I look after all his needs except for carers coming in Monday's and Fridays. Unfortunately my OH 's VD got worse and although the CH stated they take care of people with dementia, they found him a challenge. It appears choosing a CH to take care of challenging behaviour is a minefield. The memory clinic and Alzheimer's Society have been very helpful. I am going to see a new home on Wednesday. I felt ill and very anxious as you do and hope you have a better experience than myself. Respite is essential for you so it is a case of being strong. Best wishes for the future.x
     
  8. Mossyanne1

    Mossyanne1 Registered User

    Feb 10, 2015
    45
    Thank you Rashley, not sure if I can put up with much more of him going to daycare, he bluntly refused to go this morning. Carer suggests he be re accessed as he is getting more and more difficult now. Been up half the night with him. I have a medical problem myself and that's not helping either. Sorry if I am feeling sorry for myself but I'm feeling very low this morning and very confused. Love to all you out there...xxx


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  9. Rashley

    Rashley Registered User

    Dec 21, 2014
    20
    Devon
    I feel the same and I am dreading taking him to daycare on Wednesday. My nights have been difficult so I saw the doctor last friday and he prescribed Zoplicone sleeping tablets. He only gave me a weeks supply, the good news is I have had a few good nights sleep. OH is also being reassessed hopefully in the near future. Good luck x
     
  10. Amber 3

    Amber 3 Registered User

    Feb 4, 2015
    38
    South Devon
    I was advised to have respite care for my OH but decided to try half a day to start with.
    Took my husband to care home yesterday at 9,30am then picked him up at 12.15 am
    The staff told me he had become slightly anxious mid morning but settled down again.
    Might be a good idea to try short periods of time to start with then build it up ?
     
  11. pounder

    pounder Registered User

    May 24, 2015
    1
    I have a partner with vd we don't have help because I think it would be more stresfull as he likes to go out in the morning i don't drive so we have to travel on the bus. Does anybody know how much it costs to go into respite for a week so i can get some business done.
     
  12. marmarlade

    marmarlade Registered User

    Jan 26, 2015
    183
    before my hubby went into care for good he had two stays at the home he is in now. i didnt visit him as i was afraid he would want to come home, but when he did come home he kept asking when he was going back to the girls so when he had to go into care he went to the same home. and we hadnt got through the doors before he knew some of the staff ,not their names but there faces he,s been in care now 5months and has really settled i worried my self sick having to put him in respite, but it has turned out well. and he now talks to every one, at home he didnt say two words all day he,s happy he tells me hes been to work so we have to go and look what he,s done so have this break and try not to worry it turns out better some times than you think
     
  13. Spamar

    Spamar Registered User

    Oct 5, 2013
    6,981
    Suffolk
    Pounder, you don't say where you live, which has some bearing to the answer. In our area, between £500 (only one, me though!) to over £1000 per week.
    Have you thought of day care? Or would he not agree? My OH quite enjoyed it, and it gave me time to do other things, like shopping! Much cheaper!
     
  14. blondi

    blondi Registered User

    May 4, 2015
    1
    plymouth
    First time

    I am just sorting out first respite for my oh feel like mum sending young off to first trip away,wondering what to pack will end up with largest case for 2days hope all goes well for all.
     

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