Hi,
My husband has vascular dementia (middle to late)and I have been caring for him for the last ten years. I have a wonderful family who support us both. This year things have become more difficult to cope with, and with a heavy heart I and family decided some respite care was much needed.
With family support we got in touch with social services. Not knowing how the system worked we began the process. (daughter and i) request for a joint assessment. With emotions running very high, a social worker came to the house. I found the process so stressful as questions were asked about my caring role. Because of the complexities of my husband’s condition, a visit from a CPN came to visit on a separate occasion, to establish nursing care was the appropriate care needed for my husband. I found the CPN to be very empathetic.
Although the social worker did not want us to visit any care homes prior to getting funding. My daughter and son visited local places looking for good care without the Frills.
We then had to endure a return visit from the social worker to establish my husbands lack of capacity. She had to be accompanied by another social worker who we were told was more experienced. Again a very stressful and upsetting visit. To establish lack of capacity social worker kneeling down next to my husband asking questions. This took place while other social worker looked on , my daughter and myself present. Although my husband does not have capacity to agree to respite. He does know who we all are, and also knows when I’m upset. Again a very stressful event.
not knowing how the next stage of the process, we are then informed by social worker information will go to a broker and care homes Will bid for the bed! Financial assessment was also being processed.
The outcome to this whole stressful process was to be offered care outside the area we live in!
No consideration was given to the fact I do not drive and have health problems myself.
My daughter was my advocate as I was unable to deal with the stress being caused.
My daughter went onto appeal the decision made and put forward the facts concerning myself .As it turned out the social worker did not know I had health problems and could not drive, why? Because as it turned out I had not had a carer’s assessment!
Appeal was granted and hopefully now I can have two weeks to recharge my batteries. I will now be able to visit my husband as and when I want to. Since my husband’s diagnosis we have not been apart so it will be a very emotional journey for both of us.
Without the help and support of my family I don’t think I would have got through this. I just wonder about other peoples experiences; especially those who have no support at such a vulnerable time in their life.
My husband has vascular dementia (middle to late)and I have been caring for him for the last ten years. I have a wonderful family who support us both. This year things have become more difficult to cope with, and with a heavy heart I and family decided some respite care was much needed.
With family support we got in touch with social services. Not knowing how the system worked we began the process. (daughter and i) request for a joint assessment. With emotions running very high, a social worker came to the house. I found the process so stressful as questions were asked about my caring role. Because of the complexities of my husband’s condition, a visit from a CPN came to visit on a separate occasion, to establish nursing care was the appropriate care needed for my husband. I found the CPN to be very empathetic.
Although the social worker did not want us to visit any care homes prior to getting funding. My daughter and son visited local places looking for good care without the Frills.
We then had to endure a return visit from the social worker to establish my husbands lack of capacity. She had to be accompanied by another social worker who we were told was more experienced. Again a very stressful and upsetting visit. To establish lack of capacity social worker kneeling down next to my husband asking questions. This took place while other social worker looked on , my daughter and myself present. Although my husband does not have capacity to agree to respite. He does know who we all are, and also knows when I’m upset. Again a very stressful event.
not knowing how the next stage of the process, we are then informed by social worker information will go to a broker and care homes Will bid for the bed! Financial assessment was also being processed.
The outcome to this whole stressful process was to be offered care outside the area we live in!
No consideration was given to the fact I do not drive and have health problems myself.
My daughter was my advocate as I was unable to deal with the stress being caused.
My daughter went onto appeal the decision made and put forward the facts concerning myself .As it turned out the social worker did not know I had health problems and could not drive, why? Because as it turned out I had not had a carer’s assessment!
Appeal was granted and hopefully now I can have two weeks to recharge my batteries. I will now be able to visit my husband as and when I want to. Since my husband’s diagnosis we have not been apart so it will be a very emotional journey for both of us.
Without the help and support of my family I don’t think I would have got through this. I just wonder about other peoples experiences; especially those who have no support at such a vulnerable time in their life.
