Unfortunately we are now coming to the stage where I will no longer be able to care for my OH at home. So I have been looking round at homes locally. Firstly, because we are not well off, we need to find homes that will accept council funded clients. So that reduces our options and choices.
Secondly we have to choose homes that can deal with dementia patients, which reduces our choices and options even more.
Then they gave to be able to accept someone under the age of 65!
So today I went around and viewed the homes.
It's really very very depressing! They mostly cater for elderly, frail non mobile clients.
One home I went into had them all sitting watching Jetemy Kyle, saying they like Jeremy Kyle! Well so they may but if my OH wasn't already whacky (no offence intended!) he certainly would be by the time he'd been sitting watching that!
Others listed their 'activities' as bingo and 'singalongs'
The real problem is my OH is mobile, likes walks and nature not sitting watching TV or playing Bingo.
So, what's the alternative?
Yes I will still go and visit him, but I will have to get a full time job to enable me to stay in the house, so I will take him out at weekends, but it seems really cruel to incarcerate him somewhere where I know he will be unhappy!
As if making these decisions, for all of us, isn't hard enough, the lack of suitable facilities for younger people with dementia is appalling! And it makes the decision even more traumatic!
I know they are in a minority, and we live in a rural area, but I really have no idea what I'm going to do.
I've looked into a shared lives placement, but it doesn't seem as though they will be able to cope with him full time. So far, they have said they can take him for respite 3 days at a time!
I have looked on line, but the nearest places that would cater more readily for his needs are a good 2 hours drive away, and because they are small specialist facilities they cost a bomb and have huge waiting lists, and he would be totally isolated that far from home.
I am sure I have looked into everything I can and our social worker has been very helpful, but I just don't know what else I can do!
Secondly we have to choose homes that can deal with dementia patients, which reduces our choices and options even more.
Then they gave to be able to accept someone under the age of 65!
So today I went around and viewed the homes.
It's really very very depressing! They mostly cater for elderly, frail non mobile clients.
One home I went into had them all sitting watching Jetemy Kyle, saying they like Jeremy Kyle! Well so they may but if my OH wasn't already whacky (no offence intended!) he certainly would be by the time he'd been sitting watching that!
Others listed their 'activities' as bingo and 'singalongs'
The real problem is my OH is mobile, likes walks and nature not sitting watching TV or playing Bingo.
So, what's the alternative?
Yes I will still go and visit him, but I will have to get a full time job to enable me to stay in the house, so I will take him out at weekends, but it seems really cruel to incarcerate him somewhere where I know he will be unhappy!
As if making these decisions, for all of us, isn't hard enough, the lack of suitable facilities for younger people with dementia is appalling! And it makes the decision even more traumatic!
I know they are in a minority, and we live in a rural area, but I really have no idea what I'm going to do.
I've looked into a shared lives placement, but it doesn't seem as though they will be able to cope with him full time. So far, they have said they can take him for respite 3 days at a time!
I have looked on line, but the nearest places that would cater more readily for his needs are a good 2 hours drive away, and because they are small specialist facilities they cost a bomb and have huge waiting lists, and he would be totally isolated that far from home.
I am sure I have looked into everything I can and our social worker has been very helpful, but I just don't know what else I can do!