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Remembering m?

Sianey

Registered User
Mar 23, 2015
103
Yorkshire
Does anyone have experience of in my case my mam with dementia not recognising me sometimes but always knowing who it is when I ring her.

Yesterday, she said how weird it was that two women with the same name and birth day come to her house and how amazingly coincidentle it was!

I commented in her cabinet what was the '25' keepsake for (I knew it was the anniversary cake numbers from years ago) she remembered and I said I do she then said 'but I never knew you then'.

I try not to but after spending nearly all day with her I felt very down.:confused:
 

jaymor

Volunteer Moderator
Jul 14, 2006
12,772
England
I have experience of this. Two years before my husband went into nursing care he lost who I was. He was happy to stay with me as in his words, " he waited for Jay to come and take him home".

I went along with it and tried distracting him when he asked where I was and he would then decide to ring me. If he rang the house phone I answered it in the dining room and he would chat away to me and tell me to drive carefully to get him.

If he rang my mobile I was sitting next to him and would answer, hoping he would realise I was Jay. It did not work, we would hold a conversation and once he turned to me and asked me to be quiet, he was talking to Jay.:eek:

He never got unduly upset and was quite content to stay overnight if Jay got held up.
 

Anniebell

Registered User
Jan 31, 2015
115
Does anyone have experience of in my case my mam with dementia not recognising me sometimes but always knowing who it is when I ring her.

Yesterday, she said how weird it was that two women with the same name and birth day come to her house and how amazingly coincidentle it was!

I commented in her cabinet what was the '25' keepsake for (I knew it was the anniversary cake numbers from years ago) she remembered and I said I do she then said 'but I never knew you then'.

I try not to but after spending nearly all day with her I felt very down.:confused:
Hi Sianey my mums the same when i'm with her she thinks i'm her sister if the carers are there when i ring she tells them its my daughter My niece gave mum a lovely framed photograph of mum and dad taken in the year before dad died(sept 2013) last week she asked who was in the photo i told her it's you and dad, she told me she couldn't see my dad in the photo her memory of dad is when he was younger and i think she thinks i'm her sister when she sees me, because where mum is in her memories she couldn't have a daughter as old as me but on the phone its just a voice she recognizes as her daughters
Mum also tells people"" there are two of them you know" my brother went away for a couple of days when he came back mum kept asking when the other one was coming back ??? take care Annie x
 

Liz57

Registered User
Dec 22, 2013
184
My mother has "lots of Elizabeths" in her circle of "friends" (there's only one - me). I think one of the reasons she makes multiple phone calls to me - as many as 40 in an hour - is that she's convinced she's calling different people. The other day I sat in front of her and she said "Elizabeth said she'd call in at 5", I replied (wrongly I know), "I am Elizabeth and I'm here". "No", she said, "I mean the other Elizabeth". She then went on for ages about how unreliable she was!
 

lizzybean

Registered User
Feb 3, 2014
1,366
Lancashire
I get exactly the same. I can be me or Liz her friend from church. I always introduce myself when I phone but don't necessarily say DIL, 9 times out of 10 she knows it's me but the other time we end up having some pretty bizarre conversations till I twig.
I can also be sitting in front of her when she says Liz came before. I never know what to say because if I go along with it she will sometimes say Oh no you are Liz I mean.....
Fine balance.
 

Liz57

Registered User
Dec 22, 2013
184
I'm my mum's sister :eek:
So am I sometimes. Not flattering. Her sister, who passed away 17 years ago, was four years older than mum and would have been 92 now. I mean, do I look 92? Don't answer that!!!
 

Anniebell

Registered User
Jan 31, 2015
115
So am I sometimes. Not flattering. Her sister, who passed away 17 years ago, was four years older than mum and would have been 92 now. I mean, do I look 92? Don't answer that!!!
LOL i know this terrible illness its taking its toll on me and mums sister is 92 also and still with us i don't think i look 92 just feel it !!!:eek:
 

Sianey

Registered User
Mar 23, 2015
103
Yorkshire
Hi Sianey my mums the same when i'm with her she thinks i'm her sister if the carers are there when i ring she tells them its my daughter My niece gave mum a lovely framed photograph of mum and dad taken in the year before dad died(sept 2013) last week she asked who was in the photo i told her it's you and dad, she told me she couldn't see my dad in the photo her memory of dad is when he was younger and i think she thinks i'm her sister when she sees me, because where mum is in her memories she couldn't have a daughter as old as me but on the phone its just a voice she recognizes as her daughters
Mum also tells people"" there are two of them you know" my brother went away for a couple of days when he came back mum kept asking when the other one was coming back ??? take care Annie x
A great reply Annie, thank you, I can't find a thanks key anyway to thank people so feel very rude, it has given me an insight into what mam means as she does call me her sister too:rolleyes: