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Reading for Uncle's funeral - suggestions please?

Discussion in 'After dementia — dealing with loss' started by piedwarbler, Jan 24, 2015.

  1. piedwarbler

    piedwarbler Registered User

    Aug 3, 2010
    7,188
    Female
    South Ribble
    #1 piedwarbler, Jan 24, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 24, 2015
    Hello everyone,

    Sadly, my hubby received a phone call yesterday morning at work. Uncle B was found dead in his room at five o'clock on Friday morning. The police were called as it was sudden and unexpected. Apparently the doctor said pneumonia, but he hadn't been treated for that.

    I know it sounds awful, but in a way it is a blessing for Uncle to be out of his torment, and at peace, reunited with Auntie C, whom he adored and was devoted to.

    I've been asked to read at the funeral. The family aren't religious, so I am looking for a poem or reading that would be suitable for an uncle, if anyone has any suggestions. I would like something that mentioned him being reunited with his beloved wife, if possible. I have been searching on the internet, and I had this lovely poem suggested by Lyn T.

    Let us begin, dear love, where we left off;
    Tie up the broken threads of that old dream;
    And go on happy as before; and seem
    Lovers again, though all the world may scoff.

    Let us forget the graves, which lie between
    Our parting and our meeting, and the tears
    That rusted out the goldwork of the years;
    The frosts that fell upon our gardens green.

    Let us forget the cold malicious Fate
    Who made our loving hearts her idle toys,
    And once more revel in the old sweet joys
    Of happy love. Nay, it is not too late!

    Forget the deep-ploughed furrows in my brow;
    Forget the silver gleaming in my hair;
    Look only in my eyes! Oh! darling, there
    The old love shone no warmer then than now.

    Down in the tender depths of thy dear eyes,
    I find the lost sweet memory of my youth,
    Bright with the holy radiance of thy truth,
    And hallowed with the blue of summer skies.


    Thanks for any ideas. xxxx:eek:
     
  2. Jessbow

    Jessbow Registered User

    A grandson read for my late father

    Nod the shepherd

    may or may not be appropriate

    SOFTLY along the road of evening,
    In a twilight dim with rose,
    Wrinkled with age, and drenched with dew
    Old Nod, the shepherd, goes.

    His drowsy flock streams on before him,
    Their fleeces charged with gold,
    To where the sun's last beam leans low
    On Nod the shepherd's fold.

    The hedge is quick and green with briar,
    From their sand the conies creep;
    And all the birds that fly in heaven
    Flock singing home to sleep.

    His lambs outnumber a noon's roses,
    Yet, when night's shadows fall,
    His blind old sheep-dog, Slumber-soon,
    Misses not one of all.

    His are the quiet steeps of dreamland,
    The waters of no-more-pain;
    His ram's bell rings 'neath an arch of stars,
    "Rest, rest, and rest again."
     
  3. WILLIAMR

    WILLIAMR Account Closed

    Apr 12, 2014
    1,078
    I must say it is very individual what you want to say at funerals.
    We have never done poems at family funerals.
    When my mother in law died I just made a speech on how she influenced my life.

    1) I got in to my parents second choice grammar school not the first.

    2) On my first day I met my future wife who happened to be the daughter of the headmistress.

    3) As I was rubbish at rugby and football she sent me to do keep fit which was mainly for girls. I would have not had that opportunity at an all boys school.

    4) She really encouraged my relationship with her daughter but it was supervised at the early stage as we were both 11.

    5) She always said I was a son to her. Sadly my wife's sister passed away.

    6) I don't think my parents were too worried where I was going to when I went round to see my girl friend.

    7) My parents said it was meant to be I did not get in to their first choice school as it certainly made my life.



    William
     
  4. piedwarbler

    piedwarbler Registered User

    Aug 3, 2010
    7,188
    Female
    South Ribble
    That is lovely. Thank you for sharing. :)
     
  5. piedwarbler

    piedwarbler Registered User

    Aug 3, 2010
    7,188
    Female
    South Ribble
    Thanks for your thoughts, William, I really appreciate you taking the time to reply :)
     
  6. piedwarbler

    piedwarbler Registered User

    Aug 3, 2010
    7,188
    Female
    South Ribble
    Thank you lyn! :)

    Thank you so much everyone and especially Lyn, your poem was the most beautiful and apt poem. I have been meaning to thank you and let you know how the funeral went.

    It seems such a while ago now. I sent Lyn's poem to the family and as you can guess they all loved it and wanted me to read it. So, I did. It was incredibly hard. I know lots of you have read at funerals and spoken eulogies. I found it so hard to speak. The minister put me right at the end of the service, which was worse, as I had to go up straight after the eulogy! The only way I got through was to be really stern with myself and not let myself dwell on what she was saying about poor Uncle B, who was a lovely man. I found out he had a flight in a Lancaster bomber as a reward when he was in the Air Cadets. I had never known that!

    Anyway, I came up to the front and read Lyn's beautiful poem. I even managed to add, "We liked this poem which was suggested by a friend, because it expresses our hope that Uncle B and Auntie K are together again." I really struggled to say that. After that it was easier to get through the poem itself as long as I remembered to

    1. Look down at the poem and not up at Uncle B's family

    and

    2. Concentrate on saying the words and not thinking about what they meant too much

    Anyway, when I had finished I looked up, and Auntie J said loudly, "Thank you Pied" and I went and sat down and started crying immediately. Then I got such a headache! I think it was holding it all in for so long. At the pub after, several people from the family came over to me and commented, "What a lovely poem" and "Never heard it before" and "that lovely line about the silver hair" and "perfect".

    So, just wanted to say thanks again to you all, and specially Lyn. You really helped make it a special good bye to my lovely uncle. It seems hard to believe he is not there any more. Only two years ago we all went down just as my hair was growing back after chemo and had a big family photo taken with all of us on, including Auntie K. I'm so glad we did that.

    Thanks again xxxx
     
  7. jeany123

    jeany123 Registered User

    Mar 24, 2012
    19,049
    Durham
    Hello Pied xx
    I agree the poem is lovely, I am pleased everyone liked it and that your uncles funeral went well,

    Jeany xx
     
  8. piedwarbler

    piedwarbler Registered User

    Aug 3, 2010
    7,188
    Female
    South Ribble
    Thank you Jeany xx
     
  9. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    6,968
    Brixham Devon
    Thank you for your lovely PM Pied.

    I often read this poem as it gives me hope that I will meet Pete again. It just seems to ring true to me.Even though I'm only 56 I've planned my funeral! Just to make it easier for my daughter and I've asked for that poem to be read.

    You did very well to stand up and read-well done. Your family must have been very proud of you. Bless your Uncle B and Auntie K reunited at last.

    Love

    Lyn T X
     
  10. piedwarbler

    piedwarbler Registered User

    Aug 3, 2010
    7,188
    Female
    South Ribble
    Thank you too Lyn. I think it's a great idea, planning your funeral. I keep meaning to do the same!
    Xx
     

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