Sit comfortably and read this....it may help some of you in the future...but I warn you, I am sobbing, and an emotional wreck, and most of all ANGRY...and someones head is gonna roll.
Dad has Vascular Dementia...has had for 5 years, easy going, easy to manage and gentle, lives in his own home, his niece is his carer, lives across the road....we have NEVER asked for anything...no help , support, carers, health visitors...NOTHING.
Dad got bad constipation 3 weeks ago, we couldn't shift it and realised he was in alot of discomfort....so he is admitted to Hospital ( can't say which now as a legal battle is about to commence) First 2 days he was lively, singing, dancing and chatting to everyone...( he had 1 night on a assesment ward and then put on to a "elderly care ward"...we will touch on the misrepresentation of that title later.
On the 3rd day I rang on the morning to see how he was doing...a nurse came on the phone to ask why I hadn't warned them my Dad was violent.......deep intake of breath..."WHAT"...what do you mean..."he is kicking and punching the nurses, he is very violent"...oh my god, I am mortified...so sorry, but I am in shock.
I go down there to find my Dad sat on another patients bed in a very confused agitated state...the look on his face was awful, he looked like a demented animal...I asked what the hell had happened to him, they brushed it off as dementia, change of surroundings, constipation etc...and we were stupid enough to believe it....the following 2 weeks have been the worst of my and my siblings lives....complaining,past from Doctor to doctor, asking questions, finding our Dad covered in poo laying in bed, (the nurses wary of trying to clean him up, so waited for us to arrive)...he went downhill rapidly....couldn't wee, catheter put in....2 days later catheter pulled out...look back on my posts....I rang on the sunday to be told it had taken " 5 of them to hold him down to try to get the catheter back in" resulting in him puching a nurse, and he pulled the catheter back out.....IF he has the right to say no to meds, a wash, a shave, his dinner....then where the hell is it right for 5 people to pin an 89 year old man down and force a catheter up him??????????????????????????
We have asked all week where are the marks and bruises on his feet and ankles were coming from, somethings happened to him, could he have had a vascular break, or a stroke or something?? can someone from psych see him, why is the smell from his unrine so bad, what were the results of his urine test, why is the catheter in? Can you change his Meds for his prostate so we can put them in his food and drink ( told them he had refused to take his meds so can we have something that will still be effective in drink and food.) Result = and read this carefully......My beloved Dad has been let out of Hospital...covered in poo, about 8lb lighter, doubly incontinant, shuffling along, violent, aggressive, lost and looking like he should go into a victorian lunatic asylum.....our first night at home has resulted in him laying on his bedroom floor, covered in poo, half naked and rocking back and forwards then trying punch and kick my sister and I swearing at the top of his voice when we have tried to help him up.
He has been re admitted to the same hospital to a different ward...we are going to fight to find out what has happened to our Dad...we are strong people who will not stop until we get answers....he has a urine infection, but the Sister on the assesment ward barely recognised him from 2 weeks ago and was shocked at the way he had deteriorated...SOMETHING was wrong within a couple of days...NO ONE listened to us..he has had an episode or a mini stroke or something...but they have not chosen to check into it, get tests for it or even looked after his basic human rights.....We had faith in the NHS and the way they would deal and care for our Dad....we were blind,.. Because the bottom line is ....they don't have the time, the money, the knowledge or the qualifications to care for elderly and especially dementia sufferers...we have our local AS behind us, SS are panic sticken at the hospital, and they have put a "safeguard alert" on the ward where my Dad was.
We will get to the bottom of it....and now with the realisation dawning on us that we cannot take our Dad home and care for him as we wanted to....let me tell you...someone has done something, he has gone from us forever...and someone will answer to it.
Dad has Vascular Dementia...has had for 5 years, easy going, easy to manage and gentle, lives in his own home, his niece is his carer, lives across the road....we have NEVER asked for anything...no help , support, carers, health visitors...NOTHING.
Dad got bad constipation 3 weeks ago, we couldn't shift it and realised he was in alot of discomfort....so he is admitted to Hospital ( can't say which now as a legal battle is about to commence) First 2 days he was lively, singing, dancing and chatting to everyone...( he had 1 night on a assesment ward and then put on to a "elderly care ward"...we will touch on the misrepresentation of that title later.
On the 3rd day I rang on the morning to see how he was doing...a nurse came on the phone to ask why I hadn't warned them my Dad was violent.......deep intake of breath..."WHAT"...what do you mean..."he is kicking and punching the nurses, he is very violent"...oh my god, I am mortified...so sorry, but I am in shock.
I go down there to find my Dad sat on another patients bed in a very confused agitated state...the look on his face was awful, he looked like a demented animal...I asked what the hell had happened to him, they brushed it off as dementia, change of surroundings, constipation etc...and we were stupid enough to believe it....the following 2 weeks have been the worst of my and my siblings lives....complaining,past from Doctor to doctor, asking questions, finding our Dad covered in poo laying in bed, (the nurses wary of trying to clean him up, so waited for us to arrive)...he went downhill rapidly....couldn't wee, catheter put in....2 days later catheter pulled out...look back on my posts....I rang on the sunday to be told it had taken " 5 of them to hold him down to try to get the catheter back in" resulting in him puching a nurse, and he pulled the catheter back out.....IF he has the right to say no to meds, a wash, a shave, his dinner....then where the hell is it right for 5 people to pin an 89 year old man down and force a catheter up him??????????????????????????
We have asked all week where are the marks and bruises on his feet and ankles were coming from, somethings happened to him, could he have had a vascular break, or a stroke or something?? can someone from psych see him, why is the smell from his unrine so bad, what were the results of his urine test, why is the catheter in? Can you change his Meds for his prostate so we can put them in his food and drink ( told them he had refused to take his meds so can we have something that will still be effective in drink and food.) Result = and read this carefully......My beloved Dad has been let out of Hospital...covered in poo, about 8lb lighter, doubly incontinant, shuffling along, violent, aggressive, lost and looking like he should go into a victorian lunatic asylum.....our first night at home has resulted in him laying on his bedroom floor, covered in poo, half naked and rocking back and forwards then trying punch and kick my sister and I swearing at the top of his voice when we have tried to help him up.
He has been re admitted to the same hospital to a different ward...we are going to fight to find out what has happened to our Dad...we are strong people who will not stop until we get answers....he has a urine infection, but the Sister on the assesment ward barely recognised him from 2 weeks ago and was shocked at the way he had deteriorated...SOMETHING was wrong within a couple of days...NO ONE listened to us..he has had an episode or a mini stroke or something...but they have not chosen to check into it, get tests for it or even looked after his basic human rights.....We had faith in the NHS and the way they would deal and care for our Dad....we were blind,.. Because the bottom line is ....they don't have the time, the money, the knowledge or the qualifications to care for elderly and especially dementia sufferers...we have our local AS behind us, SS are panic sticken at the hospital, and they have put a "safeguard alert" on the ward where my Dad was.
We will get to the bottom of it....and now with the realisation dawning on us that we cannot take our Dad home and care for him as we wanted to....let me tell you...someone has done something, he has gone from us forever...and someone will answer to it.