Dear TP friends,
As many of you know, I have access to funds to help care for my husband at home here in Switzerland. The way it works is I must act as the peoples employers and set up a contract and pay according to the laws of the Federation. The other stipulation is that the people cannot be fully employed elsewhere or being working for a company which supplies care and assistance. I must find these people. There was a huge amount of paperwork to set up the process but from a bureaucratic point of view, but the process itself has worked well.
But the human element is more difficult!
One of my carers who walks with Nick, has worked honestly and helpfully for us for 5 years. He is reliable, caring, University educated and speaks perfect English. He is from Eritrea.
The women, who I have found have not worked out so well. I sing in a small classical ensemble group and in a rock band, and I hold a season ticket to Sinfonieorchester so I attend their concerts 8 times a year. So, I have eight to hours per week of evening work I call it MANSITTING:
Regarding these women, I had one who started working and immediately wanted me to help her look for a full time job? I helped her write a resume, and then she started asking me for contacts to find other another job?? In the end she just up and quit (although her contract has a 3 month stipulation for notification.) I was mifted but glad to see the back of her
Another who drank and had to go.
Now, I have one. She has a part time job at a nursing home locally. She is good with my husband , a bit bossy but ok. But she is reliable and caring. She is married to a Swiss man and she has a Swiss passport. She is Kenyan by birth and education and CULTURALLY. She has lived in Switzerland for over 20 years.
As with many foreigners, she uses her earnings to support other people. I am not completly clear on her two sons but both seem to be doing advanced studies, one a masters in Manchester the other masters study in Germany. Anyway. Yesterday, she wrote me that her son had to fly to Kenya as he had let his passport expire or something. And she wants me to give her the money for him to go! She has only worked for me for 6 months. I cannot believe she asked me.
I wrote her that she signed a contract and that the local Geimeinde which reimburses me for the money I spend on her hours. The process is she works, I must pay her and then I get reimbursed. To put her off without saying no, I told her that I would ask the Geimeinde. She wrote back and said put 1500 extra in my pay the end of the month for his travel please. I wrote her and said only if the Geimeinde approves such action.
She wants this as an advance....on her pay. But I still feel this is an unbelievable request.
My husbands family in the UK generously pay for one day a week of his daycare program, I pay for the other. The money from the Geimeinde cannot be used for the daycare as the daycare is a company, and I can only use the money for individuals. I am comfortable but have limited financial assets which I tend carefully to manage our situation over this long and financially difficult situation that Alzheimer's left us in.
I am very upset, as I do not want to be put in the position of saying no. She is an employee not a friend. Why is she not asking her other work for an advance on her pay? Or for that matter her husband. (He has probably told her that he will not help with her sons....who are men 26 and 28 I do not know) Will she behave differently if I say no? Will she get into my jewelry or belongings if I say no. My trust has been damaged here, this is just not ok.
I am grateful to have the money from the Geimeinde for care for my husband , but finding good people to actually do the work is a constant job and ever changing, and hard work. I hate having people coming in and out of my house. I feel violated by her request.
As many of you know, I have access to funds to help care for my husband at home here in Switzerland. The way it works is I must act as the peoples employers and set up a contract and pay according to the laws of the Federation. The other stipulation is that the people cannot be fully employed elsewhere or being working for a company which supplies care and assistance. I must find these people. There was a huge amount of paperwork to set up the process but from a bureaucratic point of view, but the process itself has worked well.
But the human element is more difficult!
One of my carers who walks with Nick, has worked honestly and helpfully for us for 5 years. He is reliable, caring, University educated and speaks perfect English. He is from Eritrea.
The women, who I have found have not worked out so well. I sing in a small classical ensemble group and in a rock band, and I hold a season ticket to Sinfonieorchester so I attend their concerts 8 times a year. So, I have eight to hours per week of evening work I call it MANSITTING:
Regarding these women, I had one who started working and immediately wanted me to help her look for a full time job? I helped her write a resume, and then she started asking me for contacts to find other another job?? In the end she just up and quit (although her contract has a 3 month stipulation for notification.) I was mifted but glad to see the back of her
Another who drank and had to go.
Now, I have one. She has a part time job at a nursing home locally. She is good with my husband , a bit bossy but ok. But she is reliable and caring. She is married to a Swiss man and she has a Swiss passport. She is Kenyan by birth and education and CULTURALLY. She has lived in Switzerland for over 20 years.
As with many foreigners, she uses her earnings to support other people. I am not completly clear on her two sons but both seem to be doing advanced studies, one a masters in Manchester the other masters study in Germany. Anyway. Yesterday, she wrote me that her son had to fly to Kenya as he had let his passport expire or something. And she wants me to give her the money for him to go! She has only worked for me for 6 months. I cannot believe she asked me.
I wrote her that she signed a contract and that the local Geimeinde which reimburses me for the money I spend on her hours. The process is she works, I must pay her and then I get reimbursed. To put her off without saying no, I told her that I would ask the Geimeinde. She wrote back and said put 1500 extra in my pay the end of the month for his travel please. I wrote her and said only if the Geimeinde approves such action.
She wants this as an advance....on her pay. But I still feel this is an unbelievable request.
My husbands family in the UK generously pay for one day a week of his daycare program, I pay for the other. The money from the Geimeinde cannot be used for the daycare as the daycare is a company, and I can only use the money for individuals. I am comfortable but have limited financial assets which I tend carefully to manage our situation over this long and financially difficult situation that Alzheimer's left us in.
I am very upset, as I do not want to be put in the position of saying no. She is an employee not a friend. Why is she not asking her other work for an advance on her pay? Or for that matter her husband. (He has probably told her that he will not help with her sons....who are men 26 and 28 I do not know) Will she behave differently if I say no? Will she get into my jewelry or belongings if I say no. My trust has been damaged here, this is just not ok.
I am grateful to have the money from the Geimeinde for care for my husband , but finding good people to actually do the work is a constant job and ever changing, and hard work. I hate having people coming in and out of my house. I feel violated by her request.
