Hi ! Had a call for help from my aged (85) father in the UK this morning. My mother was diagnosed with dementia ("probably Alzheimer's") around four years ago when in hospital for a colostomy. She's now 82 and he is having severe problems coping with all the usual issues and recently particularly the obvious hygiene problems. Too proud to accept help from outside he has little or no contact with Social Services although a friend comes in to help out a couple of times a week and is able to achieve more with my mother than we ever could. This morning (Sunday) my father phoned and said that he can no longer cope and thinks that she needs to go into care. Up until now he's always said that he would not allow this while he was still around, but she's running him into the ground. Due to the distances involved I only see my parents every six weeks or so and two weeks ago Dad was already showing signs of depression and saying that he's sure she will outlive him, whereas previously he's been very pragmatic. Okay, so here's my question ... Is there an accepted route to getting my mother into respite care to give my father a break ? Would it be better just to accept that she now needs long term care ? Apart from the dementia and the colostomy she is actually physically very fit, whereas he is very frail. Thanks for taking time to read this post !!!