Hi. This is probably going to be the first of many questions from me. The info I've gleaned from perusing this site has been very useful thus far and everyone's individual circumstances and the support you all offer is just amazing. In a tea cup - my 79yr old mother has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's, deemed unable to remain living independently at home and, after a short spell in hospital, was moved into a dementia-specialising care home on Xmas eve. (Wasn't happy about that personally, especially as I wasn't informed prior, but it's done now). I live overseas and all info is coming to me via phone calls and emails from M's mental health nurse. I've been speaking by phone to my M and she is desperately unhappy in the care home. I am the only child and there is no other family to speak of. I'm flying to the UK next week to see my Mum and meet up with her mental health nurse and other people who have been involved - this is the first opportunity available since all the Xmas hols for everyone to be available to meet at the same time. Xmas for me has been one big horrible, worrisome couple of weeks, feeling powerless and ill-informed. I have just three days. I need to make sure she has the personal things she needs with her in the care home. I know that I have to set up POAs (Mum still capable and willing apparently). I have to "do something" with her house, sort utilities etc. I have no idea how the care home fees are being paid or will continue to be paid. Mum owns a v modest, run down house, has her state pension and probably has limited savings. I feel so unprepared and frightened, if I'm honest. Can anybody help me out with a list of the right questions I should be asking and the info I need to make sure I get?! A to-do list?! I've sourced some books that I will be ordering but they're not going to get here before I travel. My instinct is to get Mum out of the care home asap, because she's so unhappy there, and have her come live with me. Obviously, that's not as simple as putting her in a car and driving her back to my place as I don't live in the UK! I don't even know if she has any up-to-date form of photo ID to get her on a plane with! Nor, at present, is my house remotely suitable for her to come and live. On the "plus" side I'm presently unemployed (who'd have thought being unemployed was a positive thing?!), so it's not like I'd have to give up work to care for her. The downside to that is that money's very tight and there's no way I can afford to travel to the UK very frequently to visit if she remains in the home. Is it selfish of me to want to get her out?! Would I be doing it for me...or for her?! Am I even capable of becoming her carer? (That's rhetorical by the way - does anyone ever know the answer to that question?). Thanks for reading. I know you're all dealing with your own situations/problems and I'm just at the beginning of this journey.