Hello. My first time posting so want to give a bit of info. Because my 88 yr. old mother has only been diagnosed with mild cognitive dementia to date, it is very difficult to follow some of the recommended suggestions. She doesn't fall into a lot of the categories. Her short term memory is strongly affected and at this point every other aspect of her health is quite good. My 5 sisters and I have yearly included Mom in a 'girls' weekend' for over 10 yrs although the last five or six have become more trying. Even before her memory loss, she would say that each year was her last because of the amount of walking we do, but would each year participate because she enjoys being with us all. We would just slow down our activities year by year. Last year was not so great.
She lives in her own apartment in a seniors set up where her meals are prepared for her daily in a large social setting. She looks after herself other than that and a sister lives 5 min. away and does her cleaning for her, shopping with her and her laundry. This year the discussion has come up about whether we invite Mom for the overnight stay as she gets quite confused when she wakes up through the night and doesn't show the interest in even 'toned down' activities. She is not a happy person when she feels we are coddling her or looking after her.
Three of the sisters think that because somehow it is in her head that she 'thinks' she wants to come for overnight, we should allow that for one of the two nights. Their justifications are that we don't know many more times she will be able to join us. They feel that this is important to her and that we should honor that.
I have openly disagreed, instead think picking her up for the day (one meal) and a few hours is plenty and take her home for her supper meal and her own sleeping quarters. She doesn't remember where she has been anyway or where she slept etc. only in brief flashes usually. Myself and one other sister are coming off as a bit uncaring when in fact I think we are only trying to keep Mom in the best environment for her own mental stability. Are we wrong? Of course, because all sisters have a great repore and relationship I won't upset the apple cart over this and have said I would go along with the consensus.
My girlfriend suggested I search for some dementia care advice so I have come here. We don't know how long Mom will be around for sure, and yet I don't feel this is the way to spend our time with her. She is so much better on a one on one visit. Half of us are a long distance away (over 3 hours at the least) so regular visits do not work. Can someone offer some advice without referring me to outside care support? Thank you.
She lives in her own apartment in a seniors set up where her meals are prepared for her daily in a large social setting. She looks after herself other than that and a sister lives 5 min. away and does her cleaning for her, shopping with her and her laundry. This year the discussion has come up about whether we invite Mom for the overnight stay as she gets quite confused when she wakes up through the night and doesn't show the interest in even 'toned down' activities. She is not a happy person when she feels we are coddling her or looking after her.
Three of the sisters think that because somehow it is in her head that she 'thinks' she wants to come for overnight, we should allow that for one of the two nights. Their justifications are that we don't know many more times she will be able to join us. They feel that this is important to her and that we should honor that.
I have openly disagreed, instead think picking her up for the day (one meal) and a few hours is plenty and take her home for her supper meal and her own sleeping quarters. She doesn't remember where she has been anyway or where she slept etc. only in brief flashes usually. Myself and one other sister are coming off as a bit uncaring when in fact I think we are only trying to keep Mom in the best environment for her own mental stability. Are we wrong? Of course, because all sisters have a great repore and relationship I won't upset the apple cart over this and have said I would go along with the consensus.
My girlfriend suggested I search for some dementia care advice so I have come here. We don't know how long Mom will be around for sure, and yet I don't feel this is the way to spend our time with her. She is so much better on a one on one visit. Half of us are a long distance away (over 3 hours at the least) so regular visits do not work. Can someone offer some advice without referring me to outside care support? Thank you.
