Princess Royal's Carers have given me he sack!

[Nordholm123]

HI.
My wife went into care with ALZ three years ago and I have been receiving help for the last 7 years since since she was diagnosed. Now, it appears that I no longer need this help. I received a phone call from my local branch to say that certain facilities would not be available to me any more and that I should look elsewhere for support.
Has anyone else been treated like this? I am still a carer am I not? I visit my wife twice a week and am still trying to cope with the unwanted condition of forced male widowhood. What do I do next?
N

 

[piedwarbler]

Hello Nordholm and welcome to TP.
I am sorry that you find yourself without support just when you need it. My mum's carers stopped coming the day she moved into a home but of course I did not live with her so it was different.
I hope someone comes along who can help.
Have you tried contacting your local branch of the AS?
Kind regards,

 

[BeckyJan]

Hello and welcome to Talking Point.

I am sorry to hear about your wife and the fact she has been in a Nursing Home for 3 years. I do understand how it feels as my husband has also been in one for just over 3 years too.

I do not understand your situation fully so please forgive if I have misunderstood. I assume the Princess Royal carers came to help you whilst your wife was at home and you needed time some relief from the 24/7 care. I am very surprised that they were able to continue to help you following the move to a NH. Can you tell us what they were actually doing during the past 3 years?

I am full of envy as in our part of the world none of the recognized groups were available other than the local Alz. Society; no Princess Royal , no Crossroads or Admiral Nurses and virtually no support from Social Services either. I suspect the Princess Royal carers are finding it difficult to cover all those who need support and those still caring at home probably get priority.

If you browse the Forum you will see there are many spouses who are forced to live as widows or widowers without any support other than friends. We all find Talking Point extremely helpful and I hope you do too.

I suggest you ring the local branch of the Alzheimer's Society as it is likely they have support meetings which will help you meet others in a similar situation and also find out what other local support is available.

Best wishes

 

[chucky]

Hi N, sorry to hear about your news, its so unfair isnt it. When my dad went into care some of the help i got for him and mum (whos disabled and is totally reliant on help) was withdrawn. I questioned it at the time and was told because 2 separate assessments were done, my dads things no longer applied. I then had to pay myself, to have a stairlift installed because mum cant get upstairs without help and the carers she has arent allowed to help on stairs, which defies logic when my dads did (from the same source). All i got was a letter bleating on about risk assessment. Why a person who is completely paralysed and can do NOTHING for herself didnt qualify for a stairlift i cannot fathom. Incidentally my dad could still walk at this point, but deemed to be at risk as he may not realise he was on a stairway!! Unbelievable! I would ask them why you have been dropped as you still feel that you need help. Failing that could the SS help?

 

[Contrary Mary]

Hello Nordholm and welcome to TP.

I am at a bit of a loss as to what support you mean. When Mum went into care, the carers providing the practical support stopped coming as being a generation younger I didn't need this kind of help. And if, say, I had been Mum's husband I would have expected to be re-assessed on my own needs.

However, if you are meaning emotional support, that is different. Mum went to a day centre run by the local carers' organisation which is affiliated (?) to the Princess Royal Trust for Carers. Ex-carers (and my Mum has died shortly after going into care) are treated on the same basis as people still caring for loved ones and are welcomed to the centre and to the events that are held there.

Are you fortunate enough to have a branch of the Alzheimers Society where you live (sadly we are not) I'm sure it would be worthwhile calling them.

Mary