I thought I was managing in difficult circumstances but have lost confidence in the way forward. My other half is currently in hospital having been forcibly removed from his second care home and their dedicated separate dementia unit. He has no mental capacity but can be very cooperative, pleasant and funny. However at night he wanders and becomes aggressive and lashes out which has involved hitting a carer. He is predictably unpredictable but the aggressive side now defines him. He is currently in a short stay ward in hospital but the pressure will be on to remove him. He was sleeping when I visited yesterday but on waking he asked if he was dead; so sad. I have visited about 10 care homes but what they promise and what they deliver seem to be two different things. He has gone from home to hospital to 1st care home, 2nd care home and now hospital in the space of three months. We are self paying so social services don’t really engage (when seeking advice one told me I would have to pay for an assessment?) and he now has no GP. His aggressive mode could well be linked to untreated UTIs as he has an indwelling catheter and the 1st care home had been giving lorazepam but stopped it suddenly on the day of transfer to 2nd care home substituting Trazadone. I keep a complete medical file but any information from me has been largely ignored. I do use the help line and CHS who are helpful but they can’t help with decisions. I’m hoping his current stay in hospital will address his medication but NICE guidelines seem to disallow lateral thinking. He has had four courses of the same antibiotic without much effect. Care homes and their trial periods work in their favour (some contracts clearly flout Consumer Law) and some groups take eye watering fees but still only pay their carers minimum wage, the people who deliver the service. How do you choose? Any advice would be very welcome. Happy New Year to everyone. 2019 looms large for so many.