Practical ways to remember Dad - passed away last week

[RichardR]

Hello all,

Dad passed away last Tuesday morning at 03.00hrs, after picking up a really severe chest infection on the Friday before, vascular dementia since 06.

Dont know how I feel at the moment, feel I'm forgetting him one moment, that he's still here the next, all normal grieving stages I know, funeral Wednesday, been on a rollercoaster with my sister arranging the funeral and sorting out his frugal possessions (we had sorted most when he went into care in 2006).

I'm thinking of a bit of a memorial for Dad in terms of something practical, benches, tree's, stars come to mind but have you any other ideas to put in the pot so to speak, that you found comforting and practical.

Ran the London 10k last year for the society, running it again this year with my wife, this time in memory of Dad, how quick a year goes.

Anyway, any ideas in terms of memorial would be a great help.

Thanks again, Richard

 

[christine_batch]

Hello Richard,

So sorry to read about your Dad. My husband passed away with A.D. and he was 62.

I thought all my memories of Peter before A.D. had been forgotten.

My grandchildren would quite openly talk about their Grandad.
The bond Peter had with the grandchildren was a very close one.

Then looking at years of photos reminded me of the man he was before A.D.

As Peter loved his garden, there are so many memories he has left us.

Dedicating a place in your garden is a place I would start at.

Wishing you all the best
Christine

 

[Helen33]

Dear Richard,

I am so sorry for your loss and hope you will accept my sincere condolences.

With regard to some kind of memorial, I met up with some friends who joined me in planting wild flower seeds in memory of my husband. We planted them in a dry stone wall and if just one seed flowers, I will be delighted. If not, the seeds will have helped feed the birds throughout this dreadful winter.

The memorial for my mum was to look after the living. I have a sister with downs syndrome and I know that my mum would prefer that time, money and energy was spent giving to my sister than to something more general.

Love

 

[sue38]

Hi Richard,

I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your father. I lost my dad on 3rd May last year (you're right about how quickly a year goes!) and your post brought back some memories about the rollercoaster of organising the funeral and trying to do the 'right' thing.

My dad's ashes were buried in the rose garden of a local church, and we bought a couple of rose bushes for the church. At the same time my sister and I each bought a rose for our own gardens, and I think of this now as 'Dad's rose'.

I also put together a some digital photos of my dad, scanning in photos from years ago, and put these on a digital photoframe. In the weeks after he died it was a help to put the photoframe on and feel close to my dad again.

We thought about something for the care home, such as a bench, and asked the staff what they would appreciate. They asked for a microwave for the staffroom. Not quite what we had in mind but probably more practical.

 

[together]

Hi Richard, I lost Mum in February this year and send you strength for the 'roller coaster'. My Dad is 91 and I also have have 2 remaining brothers. Also Mum had 10 grand children (all now 18 and above). I found it so hard as I was trying to please them all, very easy to forget yourself but make sure that doesn't happen. Have had a mix of memorials after much discussion, Dad is organising a bench in memory in Mum's favourite garden, but I also have just organised the scattering of the ashes with the majority of the grand children, made a card in memory for each of them with a photo of where we did it and one of her favourite recipes which I baked and took for them. As others have said I have also been sorting photos but that is for my private grieving really altho the album I put on here helped enormously as I felt I could write feelings too.
Good luck with whatever you decide, I'd also say don't rush if theres no pressure from others. Katherine x