Post Garden Party

[beena]

Just got back from the garden party I mentioned in my earlier post (thanks for replies). It was lovely: everyone outdoors (including Mum) in the beautiful garden (with lots of sunshades and hats), brass band, barbecue, raffle, etc. Bright, fun, jolly...

Now I actually feel lucky to have been part of the day - I spoke to lots of people (residents, family and staff) who knew me (no-one mentioned siblings: what a surprise) and met some new to me: I sat in the sunshine with Mum (who was concerned that today she didn't know where she was), holding her hand, eating cake and, for me, feeling she was in the best place possible. I left her in the dining room just about to have a nice tea. I kissed her and said I'd see her tomorrow (tears coming ...)

I thought about ringing siblings when I got back to tell them about the day but have decided not to: it's up to them to ask about it if they want to (I won't hold my breath on that one).

I now feel they are missing a huge part of this (end) part of Mum's life. Their loss, in so many ways.

It's not an easy ride on a daily basis (), but today taught me an important lesson, that is, find the best of what is now, enjoy it as best you can, remember it and ... if you do the best possible (however feeble that may seem), do it and find whatever good in it you can. I'm not going to get screwed up about the others (I hope): Mum is more important to me than their behaviour: time will reveal all. Let them get on with it. I'll just do what I think is right for me.

Here endeth the lesson!

 

[Goingitalone]

Beena, I couldn't agree more.

And you and I are in EXACTLY the same place!

My relationship with Mum is the best its ever been and if sibs miss out, well, I tried.....

What else can we do?

Just enjoy our Mums while we have them.

And we're both doing that.

LOVELY POST, LOVELY THREAD.

You're a STAR!!!!

Maggie

 

[littlegem]

Hi Beena, it sounds like a wonderful day for you and your Mum.

What a fantastic memory you will always have of the love and care in the care home.

I think you've found the right place in your head now re the relatives.
They don't matter, only you and your Mum do.
You sound like a great lady.
God bless.

 

[BeckyJan]

Its good to hear your positive thoughts after this special garden party. Your siblings are missing out on such days which for you will be treasured memories. You are doing the right thing for you and your Mum, your conscience will stay clear for ever and you should have few regrets.

You are doing your utmost for your Mum when it matters.

 

[Magsie]

Beena - I'm so pleased you and your Mum had such a lovely day. I'm an only child so can only imagine what you are going through with your siblings but I think you are so right when you say you have to find the best of what is now and do what is best for you and your Mum.

Magsie x

 

[nicoise]

Dear Beena

It's not an easy ride on a daily basis (), but today taught me an important lesson, that is, find the best of what is now, enjoy it as best you can, remember it and ... if you do the best possible (however feeble that may seem), do it and find whatever good in it you can. I'm not going to get screwed up about the others (I hope): Mum is more important to me than their behaviour: time will reveal all. Let them get on with it. I'll just do what I think is right for me.

You've summed it up so well; I'm in the "after" stage now - I cannot go back and re-do anything - and I decided to take just your approach and make the most of whatever came my way with Mum. And I promise you that when the time is over those happy memories will be what helps you through your loss and yearning.

Keep posting! xxx