Poa and my dads house.

Laura loo

New member
Aug 26, 2020
5
0
Hi there. My dad has Alzheimer’s and has just gone into a care home. It’s going to cost him a lot of money and he has about enough for about a year not including his house.

My brother was caring for my dad since he was diagnosed in 2022. Not by choice as he lived with my parents his whole life and didn’t have a job he stayed indoors for years he had to step up and look after my dad due to me and my other brother having kids and jobs. We helped out where possible.

Basically we need to sell my dads house to fund his care. My brother keeps stalling because he lives there. At the moment as it stands my dad is still paying every single bill in the house which is about £600 a month. On top of his care bill that’s a lot of money going out and not nearly enough going in. If my brother contributed and paid some rent to my dad we would be fine with him staying in the house but he’s not. He refuses to put the bills in his name saying he can’t afford it accuses us of picking on him at the mere suggestion of him finding alternative accommodation. He makes no effort to help out with my dad now he’s not in the house and even says things like he doesn’t even know me so what’s the point so he’s got no respect for him. My mum and dads lovely house is a mess now. The floors been pulled up. Every single room is a mess. It’s a disgrace and disrespectful my brother took my dad to day breaks everyday and had carers in a lot so his ‘caring’ time was very minimum.

How can we go about getting him out of my dads house. He owns it outright. We have had to move him from pilar to post because three care homes have removed my dad so far due to different reasons but now he is in the right one I feel will be amazing for him but it comes at a hefty cost.
I have two brothers we are all poa for my dad. I’ve never had to deal with something like this so have no idea what I’m doing or where to start.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated
 

SAP

Registered User
Feb 18, 2017
1,521
0
Hi there. My dad has Alzheimer’s and has just gone into a care home. It’s going to cost him a lot of money and he has about enough for about a year not including his house.

My brother was caring for my dad since he was diagnosed in 2022. Not by choice as he lived with my parents his whole life and didn’t have a job he stayed indoors for years he had to step up and look after my dad due to me and my other brother having kids and jobs. We helped out where possible.

Basically we need to sell my dads house to fund his care. My brother keeps stalling because he lives there. At the moment as it stands my dad is still paying every single bill in the house which is about £600 a month. On top of his care bill that’s a lot of money going out and not nearly enough going in. If my brother contributed and paid some rent to my dad we would be fine with him staying in the house but he’s not. He refuses to put the bills in his name saying he can’t afford it accuses us of picking on him at the mere suggestion of him finding alternative accommodation. He makes no effort to help out with my dad now he’s not in the house and even says things like he doesn’t even know me so what’s the point so he’s got no respect for him. My mum and dads lovely house is a mess now. The floors been pulled up. Every single room is a mess. It’s a disgrace and disrespectful my brother took my dad to day breaks everyday and had carers in a lot so his ‘caring’ time was very minimum.

How can we go about getting him out of my dads house. He owns it outright. We have had to move him from pilar to post because three care homes have removed my dad so far due to different reasons but now he is in the right one I feel will be amazing for him but it comes at a hefty cost.
I have two brothers we are all poa for my dad. I’ve never had to deal with something like this so have no idea what I’m doing or where to start.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated
Hello Laura, this sounds so tricky for you . I don’t have a huge amount of advice but one point I wondering about is the age of your brother. If he is over 60 then the house could be disregarded for payment of care purposes. This may not actually be very useful for you I realise but it’s something to be mindful of if it is relevant.
I would suggest that you call the dementia help line for a proper chat with someone about all these complications.
 

Laura loo

New member
Aug 26, 2020
5
0
Thank you for your response. My brother is 40. Thanks for the info I will definitely contact Dementia helpline for advice.