plese help


Registered User
Dec 27, 2006
I know its late but i have a quick question and hopfully someone may reply to gave my mam a little easement tonight my grandfather has been diagnosed with diementia and my mam rung up to the hospital as he is there at the moment after having a fall and whilst on the phone tonight the nurse told her that they have my grandad sitting up in the chair this was only 10 mins ago they said they have put him to bed but with him been at a high risk for falls they got him up and sat him in his chair just to natter on to himself to hopfully tire himself out to go back in to bed in 1 hr my mams so upset that he may be worried over something and this si whats concearing my mam that fact that he may be realising what is wrong with him and worrying we havent read much on diiementia so no nothing at all so we dont know if he realises whats happening to him if he still worries he has just recently been diagnosed with diementia it is in its final stages as they say the early stages we our selves put it down to old age and then since his fall 7 weeks ago the dimentia progressed rapidly now he sits in a chair and dribbles from his mouth all day and fidgets and seems to be in another world unlike he was 7 weeks ago when he was practly living alone can any 1 shed any light on to what to expect and how they how found there family member who may be going through the same thing to react thanking you all god bless josey xx


Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
Only from what I have seen ,read they can go on like that for a long while, nobody no really as they say when you seen one person with dementia you’ve only seem one , as every one is different, hopefully someone in your situation can tell you more xx


Registered User
Jun 27, 2006
The thing is, Josey, even if your grandfather has some recognition that he is ill, there is not a lot you can do. I know it sounds trite, but people with dementia have dementia - they can no longer process information as they once could, so no amount of reassurance is going to help. If he is worrying, it's as likely to be over something that happened 50 years ago as over the current situation. I understand that your mother is concerned about him, and worries that he may feel abandoned, but sadly, even if she was right there taking care of him, almost certainly he would be as he is.



Registered User
Feb 22, 2006
sort of north east ish
hi josey. it's a difficult situation isn't it. BUT - it sounds as though the hospital are looking after grandad, and thinking about what he needs. there's nothing really that your mam can do at this time of night - she'd be best trying to settle down and get some sleep so she can start sorting things out better in the morning.

it's difficult when someone goes downhill so rapidly. you can just start to think you have a grip of what's going on, and then it all changes again. my dad lost the plot over a very short period, so I've some idea what it's like. this time last year he was more or less coping at home on his own. by february he was too much for residential respite to cope with.

suggest you make a meeting with hospital staff to try to get a bit more understnading, read a little more around the factsheets on this website ..... and just allow yourself to do your best


Registered User
Apr 30, 2006
Hi Josey
my mums in hospital at the moment and it does cause extra confusion......its a change of routine and it does sound as if the nurses are doing what they can to help him settle....
i know what your going through....
Take care
Love xx


Registered User
May 14, 2006
Dear Josey,
My Mum was totally confused when she was in hospital last year with a broken hip and we didn't think she would ever get any better. The Nursing Home looked after her very well and she put on weight again and got her strength back a bit. It took her ages to settle properly in the NH but now she is OK and has made friends with another lady, who sits in her room for company.
Elderly people are very fragile and go downhill quickly and get everyone really worried. My Mum had a good Christmas Day but then was sick two days later (too much rich food to eat?) and she seemed so ill and weak. Today she is much better and has been talking and looks reasonably well.
Sometimes you just have trust the professionals and try not worry too much. I hope things improve soon for you all.