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Perspective

SofaSoGood

Registered User
Nov 22, 2019
13
Hampshire
I saw a dementia adviser from The Alzheimers Society today in connection with my elderly father, who has Alzheimers/dementia. He pointed me to this forum
Caring for Dad and my mother, who has physical problems and mild depression, is driving me crazy
But reading some posts on here just makes me thank my lucky stars that they aren’t worse. I honestly don’t know how some carers cope. I feel quite ashamed of myself for getting so down about my own challenges and worries when others face much greater problems
I shall count my blessings from now onwards. Things could be far worse!
 

nae sporran

Volunteer Host
Oct 29, 2014
7,211
Bristol
Welcome to the forums @SofaSoGood. I'm pleased you found us and have already read a few posts. Caring for someone with physical problems and someone with dementia is hard work and can drive you crazy sometimes, so don't be hard on yourself if it does occasionally get to you. Saying that, sometimes finding a bit of humour or just making the most of good days has got me through some harder times. You will find help, support and advice here whatever your role throws at you, so feel free to stay around and ask.
 

Splashing About

Registered User
Oct 20, 2019
434
@SofaSoGood don't be so hard on yourself. Each stage of AD brings different challenges and they aren’t necessarily what you expect in terms of bearability. The main things is to keep a sense of humour, keep in contact with friends and get help from others who have trod your path.
 

Andrew_McP

Registered User
Mar 2, 2016
264
South Northwest
reading some posts on here just makes me thank my lucky stars that they aren’t worse. I honestly don’t know how some carers cope.
Caring is a form of extreme sport. We lift little weights at first, get stronger, lift more, stronger, lift more, stronger, forget there was anything else in life before lifting, lift more, get stronger, lift mo....

One day you wake up under a very heavy weight and wonder how the heck you got there! :)

Good luck with your situation. I spoke to a nurse the other day who was somehow managing to keep her Dad (with dementia) safe at home and look after her own family and work. There are some real heros out there, but nobody becomes a hero overnight, and some just aren't cut out for wearing tights at all. I find the whole 'fake it til you make it thing' works quite well though. Just pretend you know what you're doing and most folk will assume you do.
 

silver'lantern

Registered User
Apr 23, 2019
166
I say this often @SofaSoGood .......Other peoples issues seeming worse doesn't lessen the stress of your own. If someone had a broken leg it would hurt less because the next bloke has two broken legs.
Dementia is so varied for each person and each level has its own issues to cope with. and each carer has their own lives to weave in too. so many combinations. there is no worse.... there is just the journey. Welcome to the group. hope you find it helpful.
 

Dimpsy

Registered User
Sep 2, 2019
1,588
On this forum, we can read other people's stories about their loved ones with dementia and pick up much information along the way.
If you have a problem and don't know who to turn to, ask here, you can guarantee that someone (or the many) will have encountered the same situation before you.
It's surprising the comfort you can gain from sharing with others, you are not alone.
 

Splashing About

Registered User
Oct 20, 2019
434
Caring is a form of extreme sport. We lift little weights at first, get stronger, lift more, stronger, lift more, stronger, forget there was anything else in life before lifting, lift more, get stronger, lift mo....

One day you wake up under a very heavy weight and wonder how the heck you got there! :)
This is so true!!!!!!
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,766
Yorkshire
Caring is a form of extreme sport. We lift little weights at first, get stronger, lift more, stronger, lift more, stronger, forget there was anything else in life before lifting, lift more, get stronger, lift mo....

One day you wake up under a very heavy weight and wonder how the heck you got there! :)

Good luck with your situation. I spoke to a nurse the other day who was somehow managing to keep her Dad (with dementia) safe at home and look after her own family and work. There are some real heros out there, but nobody becomes a hero overnight, and some just aren't cut out for wearing tights at all. I find the whole 'fake it til you make it thing' works quite well though. Just pretend you know what you're doing and most folk will assume you do.
Well put as always. X
I am not cut out for tight wearing, they're never long enough in the leg! Also I keep forgetting to put my pants on the outside and look terrible in a leotard;)
 

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