Personal hygiene

[nic001]

Oh this is tricky but I visited mum today and she really smells. It’s so hard to sit near her.
Personal hygiene is always something mum has controlled ie. She’ll only have it when she wants it, she can refuse for quite long periods and other times will let the carers wash her and change her clothes.
There’s no real answer to this as such, just wanted to voice it really.
I come home and I can still smell the smell, if you know what I mean.
If she’s not showered on my next visit I will speak to the carers. I think, for her the idea of it all is a lot of effort but at the same time a basic levels of hygiene really needs to happen.
Thanks

 

[Kevinl]

Bit easier for me, if I went for a shower and my wife was so clingy, we went for a shower together, my mum was a different issue, but then she wiped my bottom as a child so pay back time.
Caring is hard, but getting on after is hard too. K

 

[Jessbow]

Not a lot carers ca do if she says 'no'
They may be will to try and persued her, but if she says no, they cant MAKE her, anymore than you can

 

[Tabitha2]

You need to speak to the carers. Do the care records show how long she is going without bathing/washing? If she won't let them do it, they cannot force her. Would she let you help her with a wash? It is all an effort for PWD, and they often don't see the point in it. My partner was very resistant to washing, and often went several weeks without (he always let me put him in clean clothes, though), but he never smelt. I used to tell him he had to keep clean or he would get issues with his skin, etc., which would mean doctor or nurses visits. What is her cognition like? Would you be able to gently suggest a change of clothes might be nice for her? It is a real problem, and don't know what to suggest.

 

[nic001]

You need to speak to the carers. Do the care records show how long she is going without bathing/washing? If she won't let them do it, they cannot force her. Would she let you help her with a wash? It is all an effort for PWD, and they often don't see the point in it. My partner was very resistant to washing, and often went several weeks without (he always let me put him in clean clothes, though), but he never smelt. I used to tell him he had to keep clean or he would get issues with his skin, etc., which would mean doctor or nurses visits. What is her cognition like? Would you be able to gently suggest a change of clothes might be nice for her? It is a real problem, and don't know what to suggest.

Yes they do keep a record and I visit every 2-3 days so keep an eye on change of clothes etc.
Before they were relying on every time I went to shower mum because they knew with me there she would do it. Then this progressed to her letting them do it quite regularly and now we’ve hit a bump in the road because it’s stopped again. I’ve prompted her today about showering and I’ll see, if when I visit next she still hasn’t I’ll speak to the carers. We have to try something because she can’t sit there smelling and not washing.

 

[My Mum's Daughter]

@nic001 I resorted to bribery with "Mum do you fancy going out for ice cream/tea and cake? Great you do, OK, I'll get out your clean/warmer clothes whilst you jump in the shower." It worked.

 

[sdmhred]

Oh @nic001 - this is horrid for you.

Would she not even allow them to give her a light body wash or wipe down?

I can’t say anyone in mum’s home ever smelled bad and they were all PWD.

I know the struggle tho working with MH in the community. One lady used to go 6 months which was very very grim.

 

[nic001]

Oh @nic001 - this is horrid for you.

Would she not even allow them to give her a light body wash or wipe down?

I can’t say anyone in mum’s home ever smelled bad and they were all PWD.

I know the struggle tho working with MH in the community. One lady used to go 6 months which was very very grim.

I think it’s her way of having some control in a situation (dementia) where things feel pretty out of control tbh.
Hopefully she’ll have had a wash by the time I visit next.