Partner getting up too early

SandraF

Registered User
Jan 23, 2023
10
0
I'm looking for any advice/suggestions you may have. My husband was diagnosed with mixed dementia a year ago although he doesn't think there's anything wrong with him. I don't think he can tell the time properly or it just isn't registering. This morning I found him downstairs eating his breakfast at 6 am (we have separate bedrooms and I can't hear him moving about). The room was freezing cold, heating comes on at 7 and he usually gets up between 7.30 and 8. Once he'd had his breakfast he was about to follow his normal routine and take a short walk to get his newspaper if I hadn't stopped him. It had snowed overnight and was bitterly cold outside and the shop wouldn't have been open. He has an analogue and digital clock on his bedside table. He has done this before but not for sometime to my knowledge. I have suggested to him that if he wakes up he should feel the radiator and if it's not on then it's too early to get up but I don't think this will occur to him. I'm sure this is quite a common problem, I hope someone might have some ideas I could try.
 

SeaSwallow

Volunteer Moderator
Oct 28, 2019
6,627
0
Hello @SandraF This is quite a frequent problem with people who have dementia. They are often not able to read the time on a clock or if they can do not interpret it in the right way. Even though you have said to your husband to check if the radiator is warm before he considers going out, there’s no guarantee that he will remember what you have said to him.
It is possible to get alarms which can be attached to doors to warn you if he gets up early or tries to leave the house.
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
12,159
0
Essex
Dear @SandraF,

@SeaSwallow has given you some good advice but I think that now is the time to make your front door more secure incase he leaves the house. I am sending you hugs because I know what it's like.

MaNaAk
 

SandraF

Registered User
Jan 23, 2023
10
0
My husband is now starting to get up and get ready to go and get his morning paper at all times of the night. I am deaf without my hearing aids and can't hear him moving about but sometimes I am wakened by the lights going on. He has managed to get out of the house on one occasion at 2.30 am and go to th shop via a disused railway track walkway at the back of our house. It was a very cold winter night. This is a safeguarding issue for both of us as he leaves me in the house not knowing the doors are unlocked. To try to tackle this nocturnal wandering I have installed a sensor at the bottom of the stairs which sends an alert to my phone and wakes me up so I can stop him getting outside. This is all very well and does the job but i feel it will be at the expense of my health. Last night it was three times, 10.30, midnight and 6.15. I'm sure there's no answer to this while I am his sole carer but I would be happy to read anu suggestions as to the way forward. Thankyou
 

SeaSwallow

Volunteer Moderator
Oct 28, 2019
6,627
0
@SandraF It is good that the sensor warns you when your husband is trying to get out especially as you said that he recently got out of the house but this is now, as you say, at the expense of your health if you are being wakened up two or three times per night.
If your husbands night time wandering is going to have a bad effect on your health you might eventually have to consider residential care as an option. There are night time waking carers but they are very expensive and it is unlikely that social services would consider that.
 

Blissy

Registered User
Jan 29, 2023
174
0
I have a sensor as well and my husband is up 2/3 times on average and it does leave you tired trying to cope with them in the day as well. Fortunately my husband will sit in the afternoon and I usually join him and try to get a bit of a sleep then rather than being tempted to get on with jobs I know are waiting. Would that be something you could do Sandra F?