Parents

JoBurge68

New member
Feb 21, 2024
1
0
Hi, my mum is in latter stage of dementia and dad is due to have his consultant confirmation of dementia in a couple of weeks.
He knows he has a memory issue but is frightened.
How do u speak to him about this?
 

yoy

Registered User
Jun 19, 2022
279
0
I haven't been in this situation with both parents, so I'm just trying to imagine what/how your dad might be thinking, so here are a couple of thoughts.
Give him plenty of reassurance that you will be there for him and help him?
You don't give any details on what life has been like with, or for, your mum. If there has been lots of bad times/upset, explain that just because x happened to your mum doesn't mean it will happen to him - everyone is different, different types of dementia etc?
Try and spend some extra time with him maybe if you can?
I don't know whether any of that will help, I can well imagine his fear. Just give him lots of love bless him.
 

Gosling

Volunteer Host
Aug 2, 2022
1,724
0
South West UK
Hello @JoBurge68 and firstly welcome to this friendly and supportive forum. I'm glad you have found us.
Gosh, that's tough, both parents with dementia. As has already been said, what has happened to your Mum will not necessarily happen to your Dad. Everyone seems to have a different pathway with this disease. I agree, lots of reassurance and make sure he knows you love him and will be there for him. I'm sure other will be along shortly with their suggestions.
 

Tilly13

Registered User
Jul 27, 2020
176
0
Hello @JoBurge68
I just wanted to say Hello
My Dad was diagnosed with Alzheimers just as the first Covid lockdown started and my Mum was diagnosed with Mixed Dementia ( Alz and Vascular ) a few months later. Both in their mid 80s.
They are totally different ....
Dad likes to sit in a chair and look at the newspaper and book. He is content
Mum is much more physically active and we've had hiding keys etc , being very agitated, confused and tearful.
Not recognising home, unhappy with any help from Carers.
Both have felt and said there's nothing wrong with them ( quite normal with Dementia )

As you can see ( as said in a previous post ) my parents Dementia displays differently.
You don't say how your Mum is but I can understand your Dads fears. I think by the time my parents were diagnosed Mum thought and was very concerned about Dad but not herself.
We went through a stage of her getting cross with him ' for being lazy and not doing anything '.
It has been difficult giving them both the help and support that they need as Mum demands a lot more than Dad.
But I guess your Dad will be looking to you for strength , love and reassurance .
Xx