Parent with Dementia of 9 years

[Jane D]

My Mother (94 years old) has had dementia for 9 years and has been at the stage of being aggressive and refusing to do most things. Can anyone offer advice on how to get her to agree to be washed or have her hair washed ? I have bought large body wet wipes which her carers use occasionally but she hasn't let me wash or cut her hair for a LONG time. I tried a shampoo shower cap but she hated it. I just don't seem to know what else to try or say to let me assist her. She seems to not like being touched any more and hates water.

 

[thistlejak]

Sorry can't help you overcome this. MIL didn't bath, shower or wash her hair for about 3 years before she went into a care home.
Don't know how they do it but she now has regular showers and hair washing , she has even had her hair cut for the first time in about 8 years. Think it is because they are not family and to some extent have time not afforded to home carers. They even told us that if someone wants a bath/ shower at 3 in the morning they can do it because they have the staff.
I know this doesn't help you but we tried everything and in the end gave up as it wasn't worth the aggro and upset.

 

[lemonbalm]

Hello @Jane D

Have you tried the no rinse shampoos? They are like a mousse which you just towel off. There are also no rinse body washes which may be worth trying. Both available from Amazon. I used to to buy a no rinse shampoo from Sainsbury’s. May be worth a try.

 

[Grannie G]

Hello @Jane D

Could your mother be offered a warm, moist face flannel with the suggestion she will feel fresher if she wipes her hands and face. Warm face flannels may be more recognisable than wipes.

Perhaps no sign of water might make it more acceptable and lead to cleansing other areas of the body in the same way.