paranoia

lostflower

Registered User
Jul 7, 2014
7
stoke on trent
My Mum has been in a care home for 6 months and was fine. But now every time I visit she is getting paranoid about everything accusing other residents of different things one time bullying, another time stealing her money, now today telling me her life is under threat. If I try to pacify her she tells me to leave as I don't believe her and i will regret subjecting her to it.
Not sure how to handle the situation whether to leave her or stay?
 

Beate

Registered User
May 21, 2014
11,839
London
My Mum has been in a care home for 6 months and was fine. But now every time I visit she is getting paranoid about everything accusing other residents of different things one time bullying, another time stealing her money, now today telling me her life is under threat. If I try to pacify her she tells me to leave as I don't believe her and i will regret subjecting her to it.
Not sure how to handle the situation whether to leave her or stay?
How long has she been like this? Has she been tested for a UTI?
 

Noorza

Registered User
Jun 8, 2012
6,542
I would buy into her situation, she believes it to be true, if you contradict her, then you will be a liar, ironically for telling the truth. Use phrases like "I'm sorry that is how you feel!" so you are not agreeing or disagreeing, but you are acknowledging her feelings, then either ask her if you want her to talk to the care home manager or if you should be with her when she talks to him.

These feelings are very real for her, they are very frightening. I would inform the care home manager/ess they will have seen it all before and will know know how to help her.

I would stay, and offer her your reassurance whilst getting help and advice from the care home.
 

annie irma

Registered User
Apr 3, 2014
11
My Mum has been in a care home for 6 months and was fine. But now every time I visit she is getting paranoid about everything accusing other residents of different things one time bullying, another time stealing her money, now today telling me her life is under threat. If I try to pacify her she tells me to leave as I don't believe her and i will regret subjecting her to it.
Not sure how to handle the situation whether to leave her or stay?
Hi,
I agree with Noorza, it's all about reassurance! Make sure she knows you are always there for her and try to steer the conversation in another direction. But make sure the care home are aware as they will need to reassure her to and you may need support from them too! Our Mum is paranoid and very anxious most of the time and I sometimes wonder if I make it worse by my visits. It seems to be mainly us she tells as she is so suspicious of care staff. But I'm told not to cut down my visits as they are so important to her and to us. As time goes on I realise this more and more. Hold onto the good visits and leave the bad ones at the home, those I try to shut a door on.
Sorry for the long reply!
Annette
 

lostflower

Registered User
Jul 7, 2014
7
stoke on trent
I do try to go along with her thinking trying not to confirm or deny her feelings. To say I will speak to my two sisters who share the visiting with me, to say not to worry about anything, we will sort it for her. I realise it's not really my Mum talking. I just feel so guilty now for the dread I feel when visiting Mum, but nothing will ever stop my visits. The care home staff seem to think these things do the rounds with the residents as when one says similar things the others follow,