Panorama programme tonight
- Thread starter susy
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Actyally Ive have just watched ...(while OH is out) and found it to be very good. My OH knows he has dementia and has good insight into his illness.
Showing that while things were impared for Chris, like the moment he is seen shoving his coat in a cupboard while carrying on a very normal conversation he is still very able to reason. Not wanting to die at home because of his wifes emotions was one such example.
Seeing him in the resturant glazing over and just holding his head hit home, its what OH does in company.
True, this family had more access to help than many of us do and Chris was happy with his respite days away. But the emotions were the same for most of us.
OH used to go to a day center until they changed the venue to incorperate it with the local MH center where PWD in all stages are together under one roof. OH described it as stinking of his future and refused to go back.
So I stucture his week best I can with activities and swimming once a week.
Watching Chris talk about people asking questions I now understand a recent row OH and I had. After what I thought was a nice evening with our daughter and her partner playing a board game and having drinks and food OH screamed at me that he hated the game and never wanted to see it again. I couldnt understand why he was so angry.
Now the light has gone on for me, its a game where you go round the board, have to collect things and read chance cards giving you rewards or punishments it was too many questions for him to deal with ! Stupid me..
I think it just shows how much we all have to learn along the way. As for nitty gritty how much do they show and how much do they hold back to preserve at least a little of the persons dignity?
Chris and his family were very brave to do this I know OH and I wouldnt do it besides the fact that most of it would have been bleeped because of OH's foul language!
Showing that while things were impared for Chris, like the moment he is seen shoving his coat in a cupboard while carrying on a very normal conversation he is still very able to reason. Not wanting to die at home because of his wifes emotions was one such example.
Seeing him in the resturant glazing over and just holding his head hit home, its what OH does in company.
True, this family had more access to help than many of us do and Chris was happy with his respite days away. But the emotions were the same for most of us.
OH used to go to a day center until they changed the venue to incorperate it with the local MH center where PWD in all stages are together under one roof. OH described it as stinking of his future and refused to go back.
So I stucture his week best I can with activities and swimming once a week.
Watching Chris talk about people asking questions I now understand a recent row OH and I had. After what I thought was a nice evening with our daughter and her partner playing a board game and having drinks and food OH screamed at me that he hated the game and never wanted to see it again. I couldnt understand why he was so angry.
Now the light has gone on for me, its a game where you go round the board, have to collect things and read chance cards giving you rewards or punishments it was too many questions for him to deal with ! Stupid me..
I think it just shows how much we all have to learn along the way. As for nitty gritty how much do they show and how much do they hold back to preserve at least a little of the persons dignity?
Chris and his family were very brave to do this I know OH and I wouldnt do it besides the fact that most of it would have been bleeped because of OH's foul language!
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I watched the programme and admired the people who were telling the true story of dementia and how it affected them to the present time in their experience
but the programme did not come up to expectation in driving home the traumatic experience that so many face in the advancing stages of AD and its variants
My wife died 6 years ago and just lately I have felt ill equipped to comment on the many posts that I see daily
My wife was a very proud woman ,and to witness her deteriorate , both mentally and physically was heart breaking
As I used to help her wash down after her many ‘accidents ‘ , even in the latter stages I could tell by the look in her eyes that she could still feel some mental anguish It is this stage that does not get shown on these programmes ,
I don’t think ( in fact I know ) that the general public with no experience in dealing with AD and its variants will ever really understand the true trauma of this existence for both patient and carers until they are shown it in it’s reality
I couldn’t find the words to express my opinion of the programme until I read this post by ‘overwhelmed ‘
Thank you ‘overwhelmed ‘ your post expresses my own feelings
jimbo
I thought it was an interesting program and it made me see Alzheimers from the patients point of view as well as seeing how the family coped with it.
As a daughter living at home with a mother who we think has dementia (not been diagnosed by doctor) I did see a lot of similarities. I noticed he got a glass out and left it on the kitchen table unused. I've had that with mum, she will use multiple glasses in a day (I never know which weren't used so wash them all) she had multiple pairs of knickers by her bed and in her pocket, again I don't know if they are used or not. Also I've noticed mum has put yogurts in the same cupboard as the plates or we used to find the odd thing in the fridge which should not have been there. Also when I've hidden myself a yogurt (i.e. the other day because it was my share and I didn't eat it that day) she managed to find it. I know because it was in a different place but it wasn't eaten. Mum is 67 so not sure if she is early onset like Chris? Mum's appetite has changed, she has mornings she will skip breakfast but now eats more than dad, probably because she forgets. She had a few days where she made herself 2 slices of toast, forgot to eat it then got herself cereals. We had to make sure she couldn't see the bread in the morning so she wouldn't waste it and one of us will either get her food or assist.
The program did not emphasis that like other brain illnesses, there are many different types and different symptoms and behaviors. I have experience of 3 people who have had / have Alzheimers. My grandad (mums dad) was in a care home and experienced memory loss and speech, but there were warning signs before, hoarding items, being extremely careful with money, buying cheap sugary foods (I remember having cheap sweets when I was a child). My aunt (mums, mums sister) has recently developed Alzheimers. She is in her 80s and although I haven't visited her for a while, she has panic attacks on the phone and struggles with speech and memory. I've lost contact because it is too painful to talk to her and I don't have the patience to deal with it after living with it 24/7.
I was surprised that he went into a care home for respite care, but I could see it made a difference and gave his partner some time to herself. It would be interesting to see if they do a follow up program or a profile on the different types to educate the public.
As a daughter living at home with a mother who we think has dementia (not been diagnosed by doctor) I did see a lot of similarities. I noticed he got a glass out and left it on the kitchen table unused. I've had that with mum, she will use multiple glasses in a day (I never know which weren't used so wash them all) she had multiple pairs of knickers by her bed and in her pocket, again I don't know if they are used or not. Also I've noticed mum has put yogurts in the same cupboard as the plates or we used to find the odd thing in the fridge which should not have been there. Also when I've hidden myself a yogurt (i.e. the other day because it was my share and I didn't eat it that day) she managed to find it. I know because it was in a different place but it wasn't eaten. Mum is 67 so not sure if she is early onset like Chris? Mum's appetite has changed, she has mornings she will skip breakfast but now eats more than dad, probably because she forgets. She had a few days where she made herself 2 slices of toast, forgot to eat it then got herself cereals. We had to make sure she couldn't see the bread in the morning so she wouldn't waste it and one of us will either get her food or assist.
The program did not emphasis that like other brain illnesses, there are many different types and different symptoms and behaviors. I have experience of 3 people who have had / have Alzheimers. My grandad (mums dad) was in a care home and experienced memory loss and speech, but there were warning signs before, hoarding items, being extremely careful with money, buying cheap sugary foods (I remember having cheap sweets when I was a child). My aunt (mums, mums sister) has recently developed Alzheimers. She is in her 80s and although I haven't visited her for a while, she has panic attacks on the phone and struggles with speech and memory. I've lost contact because it is too painful to talk to her and I don't have the patience to deal with it after living with it 24/7.
I was surprised that he went into a care home for respite care, but I could see it made a difference and gave his partner some time to herself. It would be interesting to see if they do a follow up program or a profile on the different types to educate the public.
An excellent suggestion Dayperson. Of course they wouldn't be able to cover all the different types (I now believe that there are as many different types as there are PWD) but there's always a danger when the focus is just on one person that people will overgeneralise from that one case. The mantra that everybody is different really needs to be rammed home.
My wife is at mid-stage of early onset Alzheimer's, though in her case "early" was age 60. and we both found this programme spot on. In particular Chris' sense of humour and his ability to face the condition head on such as selecting his own care home and preparing his living will.
My wife wants a t-shirt like Chris' as she said it described (her) Alzheimer's exactly, but I can imagine it could cause offence in some quarters ("Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I've got Alzheimer's, Cheese on Toast").
There were some excellent examples of the symptoms that are rarely mentioned but have a big effect on day-to-day living such as not being hungry or not knowing if things have happened or not. Anyone who uses the phrase "I forget things as well" should be made to watch the CCTV parts of the programme.
If one thing is to be criticised it was the coverage of the care home. I don't know that care home at all so I don't know how fair it was. If Chris wants to sit alone in a small room that's up to him, probably better that filming him singing action songs with some 90 year-olds as in normal dementia coverage. Many care homes would have positive activities suitable for his age and condition for Chris to take part in not just ways of passing the time.
I agree that the programme didn't explain dementia, didn't mention many difficulties and didn't cover the later stages but it was a start and covered Chris' story accurately and without sensationalising it. I agree with Dayperson that it would be good if there were follow-up programmes, not necessarily as intrusive in their lives as this one, but taking the story to its inevitable end.
My wife wants a t-shirt like Chris' as she said it described (her) Alzheimer's exactly, but I can imagine it could cause offence in some quarters ("Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I've got Alzheimer's, Cheese on Toast").
There were some excellent examples of the symptoms that are rarely mentioned but have a big effect on day-to-day living such as not being hungry or not knowing if things have happened or not. Anyone who uses the phrase "I forget things as well" should be made to watch the CCTV parts of the programme.
If one thing is to be criticised it was the coverage of the care home. I don't know that care home at all so I don't know how fair it was. If Chris wants to sit alone in a small room that's up to him, probably better that filming him singing action songs with some 90 year-olds as in normal dementia coverage. Many care homes would have positive activities suitable for his age and condition for Chris to take part in not just ways of passing the time.
I agree that the programme didn't explain dementia, didn't mention many difficulties and didn't cover the later stages but it was a start and covered Chris' story accurately and without sensationalising it. I agree with Dayperson that it would be good if there were follow-up programmes, not necessarily as intrusive in their lives as this one, but taking the story to its inevitable end.
Hi Jimbo,
I saw AD from the perspective of being a daughter so I can't begin to understand how traumatic the whole experience must have been for you. I do however, understand the mental anguish sufferers do still feel even in the latest of stages. My father was upset at his lack of dignity even in his last week. That is probably one of the worst memories.
I also understand what some people on here say...that it may not be respectful to a sufferer to document late stage AL or other forms of dementia on TV in quite the way it was last night. The programme has stirred up emotions and it's hard I guess for the programme makers to please all...or even some.
I guess that you only really understand the trauma of it all when the person you love with all your heart has it and you are trying your best to ride the journey alongside them. The families are the only people who will ever really understand how heart breaking it truly is xx
Maybe it's just my warped sense of humour or OH's obsession with Welsh Rarebit, but that T-Shirt appeals.
OH has two Tshirts and I know they are not to everyones taste but he finds them funny...
One says 'I came.. I saw... I forgot why I came'
The other says 'I'm crazy whats your excuse'
Its all about your own personal sense of humour.
I agree with others that it did not show the awful later stages of the disease, but who would want their relative to be filmed like that and have their loss of dignity for all to see. Chris hinted that he knew what was to come, and we all know, but maybe the programme could have had something at the end, without being specific to a certain person, to say what happens and why.
It is, after all, a brain disease, and if a section of the brain is destroyed or shut down by dementia and it controls a certain behaviour, or awareness of something, then that behaviour or awareness will be lost. People understand that in the case of a brain injury caused by an accident, but still seem unwilling to accept it about dementia.
It is, after all, a brain disease, and if a section of the brain is destroyed or shut down by dementia and it controls a certain behaviour, or awareness of something, then that behaviour or awareness will be lost. People understand that in the case of a brain injury caused by an accident, but still seem unwilling to accept it about dementia.
Just watched this on catch-up. Think it came closer than most other programmes to help the general public get some understanding of what this illness means and especially how the PWD feels. We also saw how other family members are affected; his wife spoke so movingly of her fears about him going to respite care. It was only mentioned briefly, but I wondered why the youngest daughter had left school to help with her dad's care. The older ones were at uni or work and were not seen much except at family gatherings, so I really felt for her.
It is, after all, a brain disease, and if a section of the brain is destroyed or shut down by dementia and it controls a certain behaviour, or awareness of something, then that behaviour or awareness will be lost. People understand that in the case of a brain injury caused by an accident, but still seem unwilling to accept it about dementia.Exactly Tigerlady, it would be easier to have atraumatic brain injury from another cause
I watched the programme and understood Chris's 'need' to go to the care home, he knows what's happening to him and still wants to protect his wife and family as much as possible i.e. not wanting to die at home. As he also said 'Nothing is expected of him' in the care home where at home he is still 'Dad' with all the expectations that brings from others but also from himself, this which he struggles to do so further reinforcing his disability. It is so hard on everyone He struck me as a man trying to make the best decisions for his family whilst looking his illness in the face, a very brave man.
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