A few days ago I took my mum (90 mild/moderate Alzheimer's) to her GP as she had been called in for a review.
The doctor was lovely and went through all the usual questions, weighed her and took her blood pressure.
She then said to mum "I have to ask you something and I don't want you to be upset.
Do you know what resuscitation is?"
My jaw must have dropped to the floor as I never expected this.
Mum said she did understand it was bringing you back to life if you had a heart attack.
She asked mum if she wanted this to happen to her.
Mum quickly answered she did not want saving as she had had a good innings and didn't want to be a burden to her family!!
The doctor and I both immediately assured her she was in no way a burden.
The doctor asked if we had ever discussed this....we hadn't... and asked mum if she would like time to talk it over with me. Mum said ...no, she was certain that was what she wanted and the doctor said we should respect her wishes and that she would fill in a DNR form which would be posted to mum at home.
I felt terribly upset. Mum is normally a very positive person though her mood has become lower in recent weeks as she seems to have become more aware of her limitations and begun to realise that her memory wont improve" when she has had a good nights sleep" , or " when the weather improves."
Of course I will speak to mum again when the form comes and I have found the words.
I do not necessarily think she has made the wrong decision, but feel she may have made it for the wrong reasons.. I realise this is not irrevocable but feel distraught that she feels her life is not worth saving.
I feel torn because I have already told my children that when my time comes I want a peaceful and dignified end even if it shortens my life.
I thought I might be asked this question when mum was in the late stages of the disease , but not at this stage. Is this usual?
brambles
The doctor was lovely and went through all the usual questions, weighed her and took her blood pressure.
She then said to mum "I have to ask you something and I don't want you to be upset.
Do you know what resuscitation is?"
My jaw must have dropped to the floor as I never expected this.
Mum said she did understand it was bringing you back to life if you had a heart attack.
She asked mum if she wanted this to happen to her.
Mum quickly answered she did not want saving as she had had a good innings and didn't want to be a burden to her family!!
The doctor and I both immediately assured her she was in no way a burden.
The doctor asked if we had ever discussed this....we hadn't... and asked mum if she would like time to talk it over with me. Mum said ...no, she was certain that was what she wanted and the doctor said we should respect her wishes and that she would fill in a DNR form which would be posted to mum at home.
I felt terribly upset. Mum is normally a very positive person though her mood has become lower in recent weeks as she seems to have become more aware of her limitations and begun to realise that her memory wont improve" when she has had a good nights sleep" , or " when the weather improves."
Of course I will speak to mum again when the form comes and I have found the words.
I do not necessarily think she has made the wrong decision, but feel she may have made it for the wrong reasons.. I realise this is not irrevocable but feel distraught that she feels her life is not worth saving.
I feel torn because I have already told my children that when my time comes I want a peaceful and dignified end even if it shortens my life.
I thought I might be asked this question when mum was in the late stages of the disease , but not at this stage. Is this usual?
brambles