Years ago, I always said that when the time arrived that my husband needed more care, I would give up work to be there for him ..... last year, however, I agreed to have carers in during the day so that I could continue working, and I think that was the right decision. Since then, my husband has become much more dependent, and I sort out all his personal care. I am not bothered that this curtails my arrangements in the evenings or at weekends. However, my elderly parents who live abroad have not been able to visit for over 12 months, and so I have made a sudden decision, supported by our daughters, to leave my husband in the care of said daughters for one weekend, in order to fly off to see my parents for just over 24 hours. - They have coped brilliantly, all has gone well, and I am so proud: I don't feel guilty for leaving hubby for a little while (actually, he didn't even notice I had gone, which is a bit sad but also a bonus), and I don't have to feel guilty any longer for not getting to see my parents. The reason for posting this is not a need to brag, but the realisation that by following Norman's motto of 'day by day', things have a way of falling into place, and by re-evaluatiung our ever-changing situation, ideas that once seemed impossible to realise may be achieved once the time is right. A seemingly small step of accepting the sincere offer of help from our daughters has actually been a huge leap for me and may well lead to more constructive arrangements in the future! Never say 'never'!