One day at a time

[BApling]

Hi, I've been married to Darrel for 59 years and noticed that Darrel was forgetting things and showing signs of dementia 6 years ago. He had an MRI which showed the frontal part of his brain is just liquid which is why he can't remember if he ate or if it is morning or night. I am the caregiver full time except for twice a year when our sons watch their Dad and I get away with my girlfriends from high school. Darrel started groaning a month ago and seems to start when he has walked to the mailbox or even to the bathroom. It can last 10 minutes or hours and usually he is moaning when he climbs into bed and does so until he falls asleep. The weird thing is that when anyone comes to our house - he stops and doesn't moan - won't moan in front of our son's only lucky me. My saving grace is the Alzheimers support group I attend twice a month and the people have become family to me. No one knows what I am going through like these people BUT they don't have the moaning which is why I contacted this forum. Anything I can do ? Bonnie

 

[canary]

Hello @BApling and welcome to the forum

Does this happen mostly in the evening?
People with FTD often have repetitive actions or vocalisations which are frequently used as a self-soothing mechanism when they are anxious. If its happening mostly in the evening then its probably a response to anxiety caused by sundowning.

I cant really suggest anything apart from ear plugs.....

 

[Gosling]

Hello Bonnie @BApling and firstly welcome to this supportive and friendly forum. There is a wealth of shared experience of dementia here, so I am glad you have found us. I hope you will find this forum a saving grace too, like the support group you attend. Members here really do want to help, and it is that being affected by this cruel disease that brings us all together here - sadly.
I have no personal experience of the moaning that you describe, so unable to offer any suggestions, but I'm sure others do and will be along shortly.
There is such a thing as host/hostess mode, where people with dementia can put up a good front when other friends/family appear, but then revert back when they are with their familial partner. They may be a bit of this going on.

 

[Kevinl]

Thank you, no more than that as a fellow carer.
That simple so I'll shut up, but thank you to all of us who care out there. K

 

[Watson1]

I don't know if this may help but how about some head phones and darrels favorite tunes for him this may redirect his needs at the time. music helps. i have alzheimers and drumming helps with the anxiety. no harm in trying...

 

[BApling]

I don't know if this may help but how about some head phones and darrels favorite tunes for him this may redirect his needs at the time. music helps. i have alzheimers and drumming helps with the anxiety. no harm in trying...

Thanks for the tip and I'll let you know how it works.