OH Counting shirts and suits.

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by pamann, Nov 19, 2014.

  1. pamann

    pamann Registered User

    Oct 28, 2013
    2,635
    Kent
    This is a new phase my hubby has started counting his shirts and suits all day, he thinks people in our house have been stealing some of them, l am the only person here, all suits are there, but as he wares 2 shirts a day some are in the wash, l try to distract him, alright for 10mins then back to wardrobe counting any advice please driving me mad!!!!

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  2. pippop1

    pippop1 Registered User

    Apr 8, 2013
    501
    Tell him he's got a few less than he has so that there's room for a few to be in the wash?

    Put a sticker inside the wardrobe door that says 28 and photo of shirts. So you can say "It's written here, look you have 28 shirts."

    Don't know if that would be difficult if you don't wash the same number all the time though?
     
  3. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,884
    Female
    Scotland
    Pamann my husband is a slim 81 year old who scrubs up well. I enjoy buying him clothes more than myself because he looks so smart I can take a motherly/ wifely pride in him. He on the other hand doesn't normally bother his head about clothes BUT with dementia he is rummaging through drawers and wardrobes on a regular basis. This results in odd combinations of clothes and since for most of this morning he was convinced we were in Spain he was looking for his cream summer jacket!

    Yes, it is infuriating at times eg when he is in a smart suit for church but with a t shirt over it! When I point these things out he looks - Who, me!

    It is the disease Pam and there is not a damn thing we can do about it.
     
  4. pamann

    pamann Registered User

    Oct 28, 2013
    2,635
    Kent
    Thank you marionq, we can't do anything about it, we have just been away for a week local hotel, gives me a break from everyday chores, the day we went OH had 3 shirts on 2 vests 3 pairs of pants, only one pair of socks, he would not pack his case, said l am not taking my case, he will notlet me pack his case so we left without his case, how do we cope with this strange behaviour, please God give me strengh, maybe this does help, ♥♥♥

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  5. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,721
    Kent
    It's a puzzling behaviour.

    My husband used to count his shoes. I kept them in the wardrobe in their boxes but he insisted on taking them out of the boxes and lining them up on his side of the bed.
    He was forever rearranging them and checking they were all there.

    Not much help to you I know pamann but at least you know it's a known behaviour.
     
  6. pamann

    pamann Registered User

    Oct 28, 2013
    2,635
    Kent
    Thank you pipop although my Oh has Alzheimers he knows he has 30 shirts and 12 suits, if any are missing he knows, but does not realise that some are in the wash, and suits in the cleaners, he does wet himself a lot so many items are not there. I can not convince him why they are not there, l think l am up against a brick wall, ♥♥♥

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  7. pamann

    pamann Registered User

    Oct 28, 2013
    2,635
    Kent
    Thank you grannie G we do have an issue with shoes as well they are sometimes under a chess of draws, sometimes in the draws , just in case someone steals them, they get moved about alot now they are in his case, if we had not been married for 50yrs, l don't think l would be able to cope with all this strange behaviour, thanks for your reply. ♥♥♥

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  8. paulineanna

    paulineanna Registered User

    Oct 25, 2013
    12
    west Lancashire
    I can relate to this clothes obsession except my husband is taking the opposite view at the moment, he spends ages upstairs checking the clothes in the wardrobe then comes down and says he can't get anything else in the wardrobe as it's full. I say to him they are all his clothes and he strongly disputes the fact, don't know whose he thinks they are as there are just the two of us. He's had the same t'shirt on over a week can't get him to take it off and because it's got a collar he wears a tie with it - to him it's a shirt. Shoes and wellies keep getting moved around - usually wellies get put in the boot of the car and taken out again and put in again.....
     
  9. Spamar

    Spamar Registered User

    Oct 5, 2013
    6,984
    Suffolk
    Good heavens, I probably have this to come. I don't think OH knows how many shirts etc he had, even before dementia. So long as there's clean to wear that's fine! BTW, for the last few years I have been laying out his clothes for him to wear, he never argues, just puts them on.
    Like Marionq he's a slim 81 yo ( very soon to be 82 though) and I did get a tad annoyed when we were with longstanding but far away friends and the comment was made that OH always appears so smart! Like, did she think he did it by himself?
    BTW, he is now at the stage where you have to help him wash and dress and he can't tell the difference between mouthwash, tooth sticky and toothpaste!
     
  10. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,884
    Female
    Scotland
     
  11. pippop1

    pippop1 Registered User

    Apr 8, 2013
    501
    I see.

    An expensive solution, but could you buy a few extra ones and maybe number the hangers (more for yourself) so that you can see at a glance that there are only 30 at any one time? I can see it must be very annoying at times.
     
  12. Hervieux

    Hervieux Registered User

    Mar 31, 2014
    32
    South Wiltshire
    Why,oh why does this happen? My husband too wears 3 vests,3 shirts,tucks his sweater in his trousers and looks appalling.Menswear was his trade and he would be mortified if he could see himself,but he can't,so I guess it is not important as long as he is happy.As for showering----I have given up.I took him to the hairdresser today and requested a wash and cut---- oh the joy of seeing his hair clean.What did we and they do to deserve this disgusting illness.Care assessment on Friday,let's see what happens.Bet he behaves immaculately!!!!!!!!


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  13. pamann

    pamann Registered User

    Oct 28, 2013
    2,635
    Kent
    Thank you all for your advice, it seems we are all having much the same problems, its nice and comforting to talk about it, we are not alone. ♥♥♥

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  14. Ann Mac

    Ann Mac Registered User

    Oct 17, 2013
    3,693
    Mil has spells of being 'obsessed' with her clothes, mainly she is convinced she has none, and its multiple trips up to her wardrobe to reasure her - and of course, 2 minutes after coming back down the stairs, she has forgotten and we are back to 'What am I going to do, I have no clothes'. So I really feel for you with the obsessive counting and fretting, it is so frustrating and tiring to deal with. Sometimes its just one specific item that she is convinced she either doesn't have, or that she only has the one example she is wearing - often bra's. And at the moment its that she hasn't got a 'good winter coat' (she has 3 really nice ones, one bought only last January!).

    When she isn't fretting, and on the odd occasion she dresses herself in clean clothes from her wardrobe before coming downstairs herself, the combination of clothes usually is 'off' - innapropriate layers of mixed patterns and colours, buttons fastened wrong, etc. We recently had a couple of days where she came down wearing trousers and a cardigan - but no top under the cardie, though I think I know why. She told me it was 'all the rage' to wear just a cardigan as a top and added, that she should have put it on back to front, really. Wasn't it a trend in the 50's to wear back to front cardigans as tops? I'm guessing she was back in the 50's when dressing on that occasion :)
     
  15. jeany123

    jeany123 Registered User

    Mar 24, 2012
    19,036
    Durham
    Oh yes it was popular in the late 50s early 60s to wear a back to front cardigan just a plain knit, thin, button to the neck one with just your bra underneath and flared skirt or slacks were very modern,

    I forgot about that :)
     
  16. Ann Mac

    Ann Mac Registered User

    Oct 17, 2013
    3,693
    Well - Mil seemed to have remembered :D Thanks for confirming that - I was sure I had read or heard it before. Sometimes its just nice to work out where she is coming from with some of the things she thinks, says or does :)
     
  17. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    8,007
    Norfolk
    I'm having a funny thing with shoes. I bought a pair with velcro straps. He kept coming to me to tie his shoe laces on an old pair. I have, so far been ableto get him to wear the new shoes without complaint!

    Another thing was he was always complaining he couldn't do up his trouser belt. I'd only just fixed it for him and he's back again, asking me to sort it out. Ho hum! Can't win that one...

    Love, strength and patience to you, pamann
     
  18. pamann

    pamann Registered User

    Oct 28, 2013
    2,635
    Kent
    Thank you chuggalug hope you sort the cat out, nightmare for you ♥♥♥

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  19. Maymab

    Maymab Registered User

    Oct 8, 2013
    214
    Staffs
    Ah yes! The velcro straps! My bud

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  20. Maymab

    Maymab Registered User

    Oct 8, 2013
    214
    Staffs
    Sorry about that. I accidentally sent that post before I had finished it. The velcro straps - my husband has to rub each strap 20 times (it used to be 10).As each shoe has two straps that means 80 rubs! Very frustrating when you are in a hurry!

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