Not sure where to start

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by Frazzled wife, Sep 29, 2015.

  1. Frazzled wife

    Frazzled wife Registered User

    Feb 19, 2015
    We have recently returned to live in the UK from Africa as my husband can no longer work having been diagnosed with Early Onset Alzheimer's earlier in the year. We have savings, but need to find a house to buy and sign on with a doctor, or the other way around? I will need to get a job, but reckon this will need to be home based as not sure I could leave my husband alone for the day regularly. Also not sure what I would do as have been a housewife for the last 30 years. It would take a pretty special person to employ me on a blank CV! My husband can drive but obviously can't here until he has been assessed, for which we need a doctor... and a specialist? Then comes the matter of pensions, I will be eligible, my husband not, benefits - I have no idea. Do I need to talk to Department of Work and Pensions first? Buying a house is a big deal (everyone says don't rush into it) but I think on balance we need that pretty soon to start everything else off. If anyone can unpick this and suggest which to sort out first I would be very grateful.
  2. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    Job Centre Plus will be able to help you with benefits. As for housing, I believe you need an address before you can make a claim for anything, but you need expert advice with that.

    What skills have you to offer? JCP should be able to direct you with that, and they give help with making out a CV.

    Can you manage work, or are you in any way disabled? Housewives have various skills. Think abut what it takes t run a household. Childcare; cleaning; washing and ironing. Any computer skills? Make use of them where possible.

    Are you a competent gardener? Just thinking on my feet...(actually, I'm sitting in me wheelchair, but hey, you'll forgive) :) So your skills list isn't lacking. You just need to find an outlet that could use them in any way.

    This is so interesting. I hope someone will pop along to add a bit of beef (so to speak) to your query.
  3. cragmaid

    cragmaid Registered User

    Oct 18, 2010
    North East England
    Hello and welcome'll miss the sunshine I expect. I have a sister still living in Capetown, where it's just leaving winter and already her days are warmer than here....:(
    :(I would suggest that you make a point of keeping your savings separate, whether or not you choose to buy a house or rent. If you buy, make sure that you seek legal advice as you will need to have the house in ( I think) Tenants in common, so that your half and his half can be willed separately...I think it's this one, but I'm no lawyer...that's why you need to check.
    If the time comes when you need Local Authority help with a care home or support at home there will be a financial assessment which is why you keep your finances separate.

    Have a look at the AZ website, there is a load of information, fact sheets and general good advice and allso give your local office a ring, help is there, it's just a case of channelling it.
    I don't know what benefits will be available if your OH is an ex pat or a not pat:confused::rolleyes: ....... but the Benefits website or office should be able to give you some pointers!!

    Good luck and we'll speak soon I'm sure.:D
  4. Frazzled wife

    Frazzled wife Registered User

    Feb 19, 2015

    Thank you Piph, Chuggalug and Cragmaid for taking the time to reply to me. Your comments are very reassuring, and yes there are moments of slight panic. Mostly I can cope, just don't need to be doing my thinking in the middle of the night!
    At the moment we are very lucky in having been lent a flat by friends in the area (East Anglia) we wish to settle. We will indeed be using our savings to buy a house as a mortgage will not be an option. You are right, this is the first goal as everything else can then follow more easily, so we are signed up with many estate agents and our table is beginning to resemble an Operations room from an old war film.
    So far we have found the sun is just as good here with the added bonus of no dust. My husband is a farmer and declares that he will never be fed up with rain - I wonder how long that will last? Thanks again, it does indeed give a boost to hear from you.

    Frazzled Wife
  5. esmeralda

    esmeralda Registered User

    Nov 27, 2014
    A bit of a belated welcome from me too Frazzled. Good luck with your house search. are you able to look for a bungalow? We moved to one 5 years ago and I'm so glad we did, don't know how we would have managed in the old house. It's hard to anticipate the problems you may have ahead of time but much better than being faced with an unsuitabe environment.
    Zoopla is a very helpful website as well. It can tell you about local average house prices and what properties have sold for in the area where you're looking, also a rough estimate of the value of any property once you have a few details.
  6. In a Whirl

    In a Whirl Registered User

    Feb 23, 2015
  7. Scarlett123

    Scarlett123 Registered User

    Apr 30, 2013
    Cragmaid is giving you the correct advice. When John went into care, I had my will changed, so that we became Tenants in Common. This meant that if I'd have died before him, the wishes in my will, which were that my half of our home would go to my children, would be honoured.

    As you're going to be buying a place, and obviously solicitors will be involved for conveyancing, you should get a better deal for having your will changed at the same time. Good luck. :) xxx
  8. Frazzled wife

    Frazzled wife Registered User

    Feb 19, 2015
    I am addicted to Rightmove :) Using Zoopla is a good idea for values etc. thanks for the tip. We are certainly considering bungalows, as there do seem to be more of these than houses in East Anglia anyway. The advice re Tennants in Common is good and we will certainly discuss that with our lawyer.
    We are signed on with the local medical practise where we are currently living - it was so much easier than I was expecting despite being unable to fill in numbers boxes. The net result is that OH has already seen a GP, had a blood sample taken and waiting for a follow up appointment and referral to a Memory Clinic. Need all this before he can sort out his driving licence so that is all in hand.
    I must say so far everything has been so much easier than I had anticipated, which has been a big help.

    Frazzled x

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