For several years I have been worried that my husband is developing Dementia. However, he is a very controlling man, 23 years older than me and I have been very wary of confronting him. His short term memory is dreadful, he has burnt every pan in the house when trying to cook, lost a lot of weight so is on Fortisips and won't take his medication properly despite me prompting and buying a special notebook to try and prompt him.I can only push so far as he will ask me 'which medical school I qualified from' and he also says if I tell anyone, they won't believe me as he was MD of a PLC and I am a 'nothing'.
He also has physical problems. I did write to his GP with regard to my concerns late last year. She acknowledged my letter when I went with him to see her about something else. He has now been refered to a Geriatric Consultant to try to deal with the pain. At the second appointment, we saw one of his colleagues, and I was able to quickly mention my concerns whilst he was having a blood test.
The main worry is he will not take his lactulose properly. 111 sent someone out on Sunday as he had problems going to the loo, and was in a lot of pain and could not urinate. Fortunately an enema sorted this out. Yet he still won't take the lactulose. I cannot blame the NHS - the GP, the Consultant, and the District Nurses who have been coming twice weekly to dress his legs all have stressed he must take it or the Cosmocol, as due to his diet and medication including painkillers, he is liable to have problems passing motions, He will literally go 5, 7 even 10 days and then start slugging lactulose from the bottle and will of course then have diahorria. One GP told us that my husband was at serious risk of having an impaction.
He is very forgetful re pain medication which he takes when needed. I do sort out the morning and evening tablets but it is much harder to monitor the painkillers especially since he takes them in the night. I think he has been overtaking some of them but have no way to easily stop it.I do order the medication from the chemist for him so am aware of this.I have tried putting out a limited number of painkillers but he goes into the cupboard and gets more out.
He had a cataract operation 3 weeks ago but would not wear the eye shield.He was a nightmare to get to take the drops 4x a day despite constant prompting. He also keeps saying that he is better educated than the medical staff.I tactfully try to say that yes he is, but they are experts in their subject.
I do not know what to do next. I hand on heart do not think he would go to a Memory Clinic if asked and he could get very aggressive with me. I do think this lack of self care, forgetfulness and lack of appetite - although he eats a lot of chocolate, could indicate dementia? I have to watch him constantly.He let the sink overflow very badly when soaking his underpants a couple of weeks ago. He then would not admit it and let me think it was the toilet as he had flushed a pad down there earlier and flushed chain before i could get it out.
Frankly it is like living with a toddler at times.
I do feel we are in the 'grey' area where most medical staff would say he had 'mental capacity' but he is not looking after himself or making decisions in his own best interest especially health wise. I have no family support so am with him 24/7. If I were to ask the GP to progress the Dementia, do you think they would do a scan? He had a heamatoma 5 years ago so maybe it could be presented to him as a follow up? I have found he is putting the medical staff onto me more and more when they phone so he must be aware that something is wrong although he is in denial and says it is because they have accents and he is a little deaf.
Well thanks for reading. I really want to know what happens if a dementia diagnosis is pursued by a family member. I realise it may not be possible if the patient won't co-operate.
He also has physical problems. I did write to his GP with regard to my concerns late last year. She acknowledged my letter when I went with him to see her about something else. He has now been refered to a Geriatric Consultant to try to deal with the pain. At the second appointment, we saw one of his colleagues, and I was able to quickly mention my concerns whilst he was having a blood test.
The main worry is he will not take his lactulose properly. 111 sent someone out on Sunday as he had problems going to the loo, and was in a lot of pain and could not urinate. Fortunately an enema sorted this out. Yet he still won't take the lactulose. I cannot blame the NHS - the GP, the Consultant, and the District Nurses who have been coming twice weekly to dress his legs all have stressed he must take it or the Cosmocol, as due to his diet and medication including painkillers, he is liable to have problems passing motions, He will literally go 5, 7 even 10 days and then start slugging lactulose from the bottle and will of course then have diahorria. One GP told us that my husband was at serious risk of having an impaction.
He is very forgetful re pain medication which he takes when needed. I do sort out the morning and evening tablets but it is much harder to monitor the painkillers especially since he takes them in the night. I think he has been overtaking some of them but have no way to easily stop it.I do order the medication from the chemist for him so am aware of this.I have tried putting out a limited number of painkillers but he goes into the cupboard and gets more out.
He had a cataract operation 3 weeks ago but would not wear the eye shield.He was a nightmare to get to take the drops 4x a day despite constant prompting. He also keeps saying that he is better educated than the medical staff.I tactfully try to say that yes he is, but they are experts in their subject.
I do not know what to do next. I hand on heart do not think he would go to a Memory Clinic if asked and he could get very aggressive with me. I do think this lack of self care, forgetfulness and lack of appetite - although he eats a lot of chocolate, could indicate dementia? I have to watch him constantly.He let the sink overflow very badly when soaking his underpants a couple of weeks ago. He then would not admit it and let me think it was the toilet as he had flushed a pad down there earlier and flushed chain before i could get it out.
Frankly it is like living with a toddler at times.
I do feel we are in the 'grey' area where most medical staff would say he had 'mental capacity' but he is not looking after himself or making decisions in his own best interest especially health wise. I have no family support so am with him 24/7. If I were to ask the GP to progress the Dementia, do you think they would do a scan? He had a heamatoma 5 years ago so maybe it could be presented to him as a follow up? I have found he is putting the medical staff onto me more and more when they phone so he must be aware that something is wrong although he is in denial and says it is because they have accents and he is a little deaf.
Well thanks for reading. I really want to know what happens if a dementia diagnosis is pursued by a family member. I realise it may not be possible if the patient won't co-operate.
