Not long now

Discussion in 'End of life care' started by janetlynn, Nov 9, 2015.

  1. janetlynn

    janetlynn Registered User

    Jul 22, 2012
    #1 janetlynn, Nov 9, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 10, 2015

    I am sitting next to my mum in law as I am typing this, hoping that she passes soon. She has had vascular dementia for 10 years and lived with my husband and myself for the last 5 years. She has had strokes and seizures and at Christmas broke her hip. She became bedbound shortly after that with pressure sores. She is so thin and frail, weighing under 5 stones. She doesn't know us. 3 weeks ago she was rushed into hospital with pneumonia. The Doctors did all they could for her but warned us she might not survive the night. They tried to get blood from her over and over again causing her to cry in pain. Her arms were black and blue.
    She was discharged 2 days later and since then has hardly taken any fluids. For the last 2 days she has not been able to take any fluids at all and we are just keeping her comfortable and keeping her mouth and lips moist. We are waiting for some meds to be delivered so that if she becomes distressed or in pain a nurse can come and administer them.
    So I am stroking her hair, holding her hand and talking gently to her. She has a cuddly toy next to her and she keeps placing her hand on it. It is heartbreaking. I just want her to pass away peacefully soon. She has had enough.

    Thank you all for listening.
  2. stanleypj

    stanleypj Registered User

    Dec 8, 2011
    North West
    So sorry to hear this. Your feelings are very understandable. My thoughts are with you and your mum.
  3. beverrino

    beverrino Registered User

    Jan 12, 2015
    bless you Janet. dreadful position to be in and I truly feel for you. wishing you well and strength in the times to come. sending hugs to you xx
  4. angecmc

    angecmc Registered User

    Dec 25, 2012
    Thinking of you xx
  5. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    Oh janetlynn, such a kind, caring and loving post. It's good that you are together and at home.
    I wish peace and rest for all your family.
  6. Canadian Joanne

    Canadian Joanne Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 8, 2005
    Toronto, Canada
    Your post brought tears to my eyes. I am so sorry and hope that everything will be serene for all of you.
  7. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    Thinking of you both today as you make this last journey of goodbyes together and wishing that over the next few days and weeks you will remember all the happy times that you have had together xxx
  8. 2jays

    2jays Registered User

    Jun 4, 2010
    West Midlands
    Thinking of you xxx

    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
  9. CeliaW

    CeliaW Registered User

    Jan 29, 2009
    Sending supportive hugs and thinking of you and your family x
  10. silverlining18

    silverlining18 Registered User

    Dec 23, 2014
    Loving thoughts

    Sending loving thoughts.
  11. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    South coast
    Your post shows what a loving daughter you are.
    Sending you virtual strength for this last final vigil.
  12. woodbrooklabs

    woodbrooklabs Registered User

    Aug 17, 2015
    Thinking of you and the pain you are going through. I hope things are peaceful soon enough for your mum. No more pain for her.xx
  13. LeedsLass

    LeedsLass Registered User

    Oct 13, 2014
    Wishing you and your family strength for these tough times. Hope her passing is peaceful and a release for you all. X

    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
  14. nannylondon

    nannylondon Registered User

    Apr 7, 2014
    Wishing you and your family strength at this difficult time and I hope her passing is peaceful sending you a big hug (((( ))))
  15. Blogg

    Blogg Registered User

    Jul 24, 2014
    I'm sorry to read this. Wishing you strength for this sad stage.
  16. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    Such a sad post. I hope your mother in law is as comfortable as she can be and know how fortunate she is to have you sitting with her.
  17. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    Wishing you strength and endurance for this time, and your loved one a peaceful passing. I know how hard it is at the end, when you want them released from their suffering, but you don't want to say goodbye. xx
  18. Johnny Five

    Johnny Five Registered User

    Nov 9, 2015
    South Yorkshire
    Praying for you both.
    May you both find peace. xx
  19. janetlynn

    janetlynn Registered User

    Jul 22, 2012
    Hi all,

    Thank you so, so much each and everyone of you for your kind support. It gave me comfort and the strength to cope.

    Mum in law passed away at 6.15 this morning. It was a peaceful passing and at the end she took a deep breath and let out a long sigh. She sounded at peace and ready to leave.

    Thank you.
  20. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    Brixham Devon
    Janetlynn, your MIL really did sound as though she was ready to pass on. What a wonderful friend as well as a loving DIL you have been.

    I hope you find strength to deal with your emotions at this time.


    Lyn T XX

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