My mother went through something similar, she stopped eating /went off her food for 5-6 weeks before being admitted to hospital ( ulcer infection/ confusion / delirious ' thought to be on too many pain medications they tried to tit-rate her off them ....but they forgot!) -
We thought the pain medication - pain patches and codeine might be a reason for the coincidental loss in appetite - it seems logical question to ask
However the doctors assumed immediately, it seemed, that she was "letting go" - end of life phase
i didn't see that one coming - its the first time in her life that she wasn't eating well and she was so fit /young for her age - 81 - nothing significantly medically wrong with her except a small ulcer - and she was still a strong personality - lots of fight - the end of life diagnosis didn't make any sense - but that's whats assumed by doctors - so many variables but so many broad assumptions made by doctors - they don't make any sense, its very hard to believe a thing they say, especially time frames regarding end of life.
I tried for a second opinion but once a patient is labelled with dementia the doctors don't tend to think outside the square in my experience, they just follow suit.
In the end Mum died to the shock of doctors and family of a brain bleed - a hematoma grew so big it eventually gave her a stroke , but there was definitely lots of neurological symptoms for a long time leading up to the diagnosis - for many months -completely ignored by 6 hospitals - loss of appetite, loss of eyesight , hearing, balance, leg strength....ability to walk/falls - its likely to be the main reason she stopped eating - she was in so much pain from brain bleeding - peripheral neurpathy but no one picked up on it.
Mum didn't eat too much towards the end but still enjoyed drinking milk /protein shakes and a slice of bread and nutella, sometimes porridge, but she played with her food a lot of the time - It was like she couldn't see that it was there - or didn't know what food was? Despite this lack of appetite she put on 4kg of weight mainly from the protein shakes in 5 weeks .
Mum's swallow function speech was OK till the end, but possibly due to the bleed on the brain rather than dementia she didn't want to eat ...or just didn't know what food was?
On the odd day stupor like she would try to eat the hospital bed sheets - her basic instincts would kick in - i'd swap the bed sheets for a bit of toast and nutella again - i knew that's what she wanted
After the bleed grew into a stroke Mum and the doctors finally figured out the issue (now too late) lasted 11 days without food or water - i think she shut down due to dehydration in the end - she was very strong willed .
The doctors refused to treat her - she wasn't considered a candidate for neurological care because of the dementia diagnosis and age
Even though the brain bleed could have been the cause of the dementia it was never considered by the doctors - they assumed there was no case for the possibility and therefore no point looking into the matter further.
They assumed mum was weak because of her age and the dementia diagnosis - they predicted that she would likely only last 24-48 -hours . however the palliative care team said sometimes these bleed reabsorb so there was a small chance she could have recovered.
They didn't bother to determine the location or the type of bleed they just decided to provide palliative care .We weren't given any choice.
We weren't really kept informed about the progress.
There was no drips or feeding tubes considered. We asked the palliative care team about water but the said if Mum was given water her kidneys would shut down - she had to fight the battle on her own - either recover quickly or starve or dehydrate - she perished in the end.
There was no one to discuss options with - the doctors just seemed to vanish for 11 days.
If the doctors picked up the bleed she could have lived another 5-10 years.
Strokes mimic dementia. Doctor never test for chronic bleeds despite the prevalence. Its not on the doctor radar until its too late damage done
A lot of people get strokes and then dementia follows -It's all related. i'm not sure which came first in my case - i think it was mainly the bleed.
Its really sad . it was a really rough time - you don't know what to do and you cant get much help from doctors either - there just as confused
I wish you all the best for mothers care and comfort