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Night time wetting

Sandy47

Registered User
Aug 14, 2019
19
Does any other carer have a problem with lack of sleep and how do you manage it?
I am my husbands sole carer. He has Alzheimers and I have hearing loss. At night I use a motion sensor to alert me when he is awake and needs the toilet. This can happen every few hours throughout the night. The first time he usually makes it to the bathroom on his own but throughout the night he gets more confused and I usually have to change his underwear and pyjamas at least once and clean up the bedroom carpet and bathroom floor.
He has been tested for urine infection and prostate problems but they were clear.
He is not incontinent as such because during the day he manages perfectly well. I have tried not giving him drinks after 7pm. but that made no difference.
I am now so tired with lack of sleep and can't carry on doing this night after night, but have no idea who to turn to for help. Our GP is not particularly helpful and I'm not sure what he could do anyway. I have suggested to my husband that having a commode in the bedroom might help but he doesn't accept there is a problem and I don't know if that would confuse him more.
Has anyone else had a similar problem and found a solution?
 

angelict

Registered User
Jan 16, 2020
35
Have you done a referral for pads I ended up self referring to the Incontinence Dept due to the District Nurses coming out to see my Mum after her hospital discharge they were about as helpful as a chocolate teapot and said I could do it. I then waited a month then asked social services to do one as well. You can buy them from Tena direct but he should qualify due to having Alzheimer's I would do it today as you will wait months to be triaged and they will cost you a small fortune. Also if he's had UTI's or potentially has one now I would contact the gp. Unfortunately it goes with the condition. My Mother has had recurring UTI's eventhough she toilets herself but like you she has wet the bed this morning through no fault of her own so it's three lots of washing this morning. Hope you get it sorted out for him.
 

Thethirdmrsc

Registered User
Apr 4, 2018
217
Hi @Sandy47 i have the waking problem, but not the wetting, although he pees on the bathroom floor cause his aim is poor. For the last 2 weeks he has been waking up at 1am and is awake for a couple of hours because it’s too dark (I have night lights) he doesn’t know where is is, and generally wants to kill himself. Along with his nightly mertazapine, I also give him a diazepam now, and last night despite 2 mertazapine, he still woke up. Come the afternoon I am shattered. Normally he goes for a pee and goes back to bed, sometimes he get up again because he has forgotten he went, and it’s relentless. The spare room beckoned last night, but then he might come in and find me anyway. Sorry I have no helpful suggestions. I am lucky that my GP is good, but at the end of the day, it’s still me and the OH awake in the wee small hours.
 

lollyc

Registered User
Sep 9, 2020
34
Does any other carer have a problem with lack of sleep and how do you manage it?
I am my husbands sole carer. He has Alzheimers and I have hearing loss. At night I use a motion sensor to alert me when he is awake and needs the toilet. This can happen every few hours throughout the night. The first time he usually makes it to the bathroom on his own but throughout the night he gets more confused and I usually have to change his underwear and pyjamas at least once and clean up the bedroom carpet and bathroom floor.
He has been tested for urine infection and prostate problems but they were clear.
He is not incontinent as such because during the day he manages perfectly well. I have tried not giving him drinks after 7pm. but that made no difference.
I am now so tired with lack of sleep and can't carry on doing this night after night, but have no idea who to turn to for help. Our GP is not particularly helpful and I'm not sure what he could do anyway. I have suggested to my husband that having a commode in the bedroom might help but he doesn't accept there is a problem and I don't know if that would confuse him more.
Has anyone else had a similar problem and found a solution?
Does any other carer have a problem with lack of sleep and how do you manage it?
I am my husbands sole carer. He has Alzheimers and I have hearing loss. At night I use a motion sensor to alert me when he is awake and needs the toilet. This can happen every few hours throughout the night. The first time he usually makes it to the bathroom on his own but throughout the night he gets more confused and I usually have to change his underwear and pyjamas at least once and clean up the bedroom carpet and bathroom floor.
He has been tested for urine infection and prostate problems but they were clear.
He is not incontinent as such because during the day he manages perfectly well. I have tried not giving him drinks after 7pm. but that made no difference.
I am now so tired with lack of sleep and can't carry on doing this night after night, but have no idea who to turn to for help. Our GP is not particularly helpful and I'm not sure what he could do anyway. I have suggested to my husband that having a commode in the bedroom might help but he doesn't accept there is a problem and I don't know if that would confuse him more.
Has anyone else had a similar problem and found a solution?
I have a similar problem with Mum. At one point she would be up 5 or 6 times a night, and although she usually managed to get to the bathroom, it was was very wearing for both of us. She now takes Mirtazapine 30mg and Quetiapine 25mg at night, (with Lorazepam as a fall back if she has a "manic" type episode) Doesn't always work, but most nights she will only get up once. Perhaps your GP can prescribe a sleeping tablet? He may still wet at night, but hopefully will stay asleep. In my experience the GP can be a bit reluctant to prescribe - worrying about addiction (!) etc., but I don't think most understand just how relentless it can be. It pays to be persistent and lay it on a bit thick. If you really are getting nowhere maybe speak to another doctor?
I've tried stopping the drinking after 6pm, but it made no difference either.
Mum permanently wears incontinence pants - pull up ones - which we buy online. Works out around 60p each, much cheaper than Tena. I had no idea that you get a referral for that. For various reasons we now have to have a commode, but Mum has really struggled to get her head around that whole concept.
 

Just me

Registered User
Nov 17, 2013
386
Does any other carer have a problem with lack of sleep and how do you manage it?
I am my husbands sole carer. He has Alzheimers and I have hearing loss. At night I use a motion sensor to alert me when he is awake and needs the toilet. This can happen every few hours throughout the night. The first time he usually makes it to the bathroom on his own but throughout the night he gets more confused and I usually have to change his underwear and pyjamas at least once and clean up the bedroom carpet and bathroom floor.
He has been tested for urine infection and prostate problems but they were clear.
He is not incontinent as such because during the day he manages perfectly well. I have tried not giving him drinks after 7pm. but that made no difference.
I am now so tired with lack of sleep and can't carry on doing this night after night, but have no idea who to turn to for help. Our GP is not particularly helpful and I'm not sure what he could do anyway. I have suggested to my husband that having a commode in the bedroom might help but he doesn't accept there is a problem and I don't know if that would confuse him more.
Has anyone else had a similar problem and found a solution?
I feel for you @Sandy47. I honestly haven’t had an undisturbed sleep since before Christmas and in the past couple of months mum has been been taking her pull-ups down and weeing everywhere. Last night she came downstairs after being in bed a couple of hours and when I took her back upstairs there was wee all on the landing, down the stairs and a big puddle in the hall. Lack of sleep, mopping up in the early hours and washing every day is exhausting.

I posted a while ago about the same problem and the suggestions I received were to restrict evening drinks which I was already doing, try puppy pads which I did but I can’t cover the whole house and the ones I put in the bathroom and bedroom are just kicked aside. Other suggestions were to try a commode which I haven't yet done and to put pictures up on the door which I had already tried. Although these didn’t work for me, they may for you.

I also read a suggestion to another post about using a onesie that fastens at the back but I’m not keen, seems a bit like a straight jacket to me.

Someone said there husband has a similar problem called nocturnal polyuria but from what I understand there is no treatment.

Mum was put on Mirtazapine in the middle of this and it made her night time confusion worse. She would only sleep for an hour or two then get up and wee on the bed and though I have a mattress protector it doesn’t cover the sides.
The only solution for me is to live in a house of plastic 🥴 though I don’t know what I can doo with the lack of sleep.

Good luck
 

imthedaughter

Registered User
Apr 3, 2019
506
I believe it is @canary who has good experience of night time incontinence and may well have something to add. Goodness it must be exhausting.

I believe the advice is wearing pull ups, Kylie sheets, puppy pads stuck down as mats on flooring in key places like next to the bed, bathroom floor - in order to prevent the need to change underwear and bedclothes and make the clean up of bedroom and bathroom a bit faster (and perhaps it can be put off until the morning). Of course it doesn't solve the original problem! @Just me is right, you probably can't cover the whole house in puppy pads (but if cost was no barrier, I bet it is tempting!)

I do think you may have to go back to GP, I know it's another thing you have to do but if you have carer breakdown due to lack of sleep - very likely - who will look after your OH then? The GP, social services etc will have to take over.

And as @lollyc says a sleeping tablet - for him - which allows you in turn to sleep sounds strange but might just work if you can get the GP to try it.

I would expect you need an incontinence nurse and medication review at the very least. What about giving the Admiral Nurses a call? They may be able to help you with resources too.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
13,593
South coast
I believe it is @canary who has good experience of night time incontinence and may well have something to add.
I dont want to mislead people, OH does not have classic incontinence.
What he has is a paralysed bladder and chronic constipation. He also has a neurological condition so that he produces most of his urine overnight (nocturnal polyuria - yes its my OH!).

He now has a catheter, but before then he would get "overflow incontinence" as his bladder would be completely full, he couldnt empty it (despite regular trips to the loo) and then it would overflow............ All of this happened at night, of course, which made life hard, but even with a catheter (which means I now sleep, hooray!) there are often wet beds as the catheter can leak and has been known to completely come adrift from the night bag and dump 2 litres of urine in the bed :eek:

The chronic constipation will ultimately, if not treated, lead to overflow diarrhoea (and a poonami) and if treated with laxatives will sometimes all come out at once rather unexpectedly and trailed around the house.

So, you see, I know about waterproof mattresses, kylie sheets, puppy pads and how to get the smell of wee and poo out of soft furnishings and carpets, but I dont know about pads and pull ups, or night time confusion, so probably cant help further. Sorry.
 

imthedaughter

Registered User
Apr 3, 2019
506
I dont want to mislead people, OH does not have classic incontinence.
What he has is a paralysed bladder and chronic constipation. He also has a neurological condition so that he produces most of his urine overnight (nocturnal polyuria - yes its my OH!).
Sorry, I do know it's not the same @canary - I think I meant the nocturnal polyuria. Glad the catheter gives more opportunity to sleep (some of the time!)
 

Sandy47

Registered User
Aug 14, 2019
19
Have you done a referral for pads I ended up self referring to the Incontinence Dept due to the District Nurses coming out to see my Mum after her hospital discharge they were about as helpful as a chocolate teapot and said I could do it. I then waited a month then asked social services to do one as well. You can buy them from Tena direct but he should qualify due to having Alzheimer's I would do it today as you will wait months to be triaged and they will cost you a small fortune. Also if he's had UTI's or potentially has one now I would contact the gp. Unfortunately it goes with the condition. My Mother has had recurring UTI's eventhough she toilets herself but like you she has wet the bed this morning through no fault of her own so it's three lots of washing this morning. Hope you get it sorted out for him.
Thank you for the advise. I did buy ncontinence pads and pants when he first started this but he hated them and refused to wear them. I tried again a few weeks ago but when I mentioned to him that they were to help with his problem he denied having any problem and blamed it on something else. It's good to know I may be able to get them from the incontinence dept eventually.
 

Sandy47

Registered User
Aug 14, 2019
19
I feel for you @Sandy47. I honestly haven’t had an undisturbed sleep since before Christmas and in the past couple of months mum has been been taking her pull-ups down and weeing everywhere. Last night she came downstairs after being in bed a couple of hours and when I took her back upstairs there was wee all on the landing, down the stairs and a big puddle in the hall. Lack of sleep, mopping up in the early hours and washing every day is exhausting.

I posted a while ago about the same problem and the suggestions I received were to restrict evening drinks which I was already doing, try puppy pads which I did but I can’t cover the whole house and the ones I put in the bathroom and bedroom are just kicked aside. Other suggestions were to try a commode which I haven't yet done and to put pictures up on the door which I had already tried. Although these didn’t work for me, they may for you.

I also read a suggestion to another post about using a onesie that fastens at the back but I’m not keen, seems a bit like a straight jacket to me.

Someone said there husband has a similar problem called nocturnal polyuria but from what I understand there is no treatment.

Mum was put on Mirtazapine in the middle of this and it made her night time confusion worse. She would only sleep for an hour or two then get up and wee on the bed and though I have a mattress protector it doesn’t cover the sides.
The only solution for me is to live in a house of plastic 🥴 though I don’t know what I can doo with the lack of sleep.

Good luck
Thank you for your reply. If nothing else it helps to know there are others out there experiencing the same problem. I've put pictures on the bathroom door but he doesn't get that far and it's the number of times he (and I) gets up that's the most exhausting. He usually goes straight back to sleep while I'm clearing up and then I'm wide awake and can't sleep!
Have not heard about puppy pads so will definitely try those. Great suggestion. Thank you.
 

Sandy47

Registered User
Aug 14, 2019
19
I believe it is @canary who has good experience of night time incontinence and may well have something to add. Goodness it must be exhausting.

I believe the advice is wearing pull ups, Kylie sheets, puppy pads stuck down as mats on flooring in key places like next to the bed, bathroom floor - in order to prevent the need to change underwear and bedclothes and make the clean up of bedroom and bathroom a bit faster (and perhaps it can be put off until the morning). Of course it doesn't solve the original problem! @Just me is right, you probably can't cover the whole house in puppy pads (but if cost was no barrier, I bet it is tempting!)

I do think you may have to go back to GP, I know it's another thing you have to do but if you have carer breakdown due to lack of sleep - very likely - who will look after your OH then? The GP, social services etc will have to take over.

And as @lollyc says a sleeping tablet - for him - which allows you in turn to sleep sounds strange but might just work if you can get the GP to try it.

I would expect you need an incontinence nurse and medication review at the very least. What about giving the Admiral Nurses a call? They may be able to help you with resources too.
Thank you for the reply. I have contacted the Admiral nurses but they just suggested the usual things I've already tried, pictures on the toilet door, red toilet seat, incontinence pads. I've not come across puppy pads or Kylie sheets so they're worth investigating, thank you.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
13,593
South coast
I've not come across puppy pads or Kylie sheets so they're worth investigating,
Puppy pads are available from pet shops and they are useful to be put down instead of mats in the bathroom around the toilet (I cut a semi circular bit out of one edge so that it fit better) and/or beside the bed, which were places that often got "watered" and it made it easier to clear up.

Kylie sheets are large washable absorbent pads which go on the bed. They can absorb a surprising amount of urine. Just whip it off the bed and put down another one when needed in the night, or, if he doesnt wake up, in the morning. You can get them from nursing supply shops or over the internet. They are fairly pricey, but once you have bought them there is only the cost of laundering them (they dry quickly). Ive got two because I dont have to change them during the night, but you will probably need more.
 

Just me

Registered User
Nov 17, 2013
386
Thank you for your reply. If nothing else it helps to know there are others out there experiencing the same problem. I've put pictures on the bathroom door but he doesn't get that far and it's the number of times he (and I) gets up that's the most exhausting. He usually goes straight back to sleep while I'm clearing up and then I'm wide awake and can't sleep!
Have not heard about puppy pads so will definitely try those. Great suggestion. Thank you.
Yes mum goes straight back to sleep and by the time I’ve cleaned up I’m too tense to sleep.
I thought the Mirtazapine would help as it can cause drowsiness but she’d go off to sleep for about an hour then wake really confused and then you can imagine what happens.
 

Thethirdmrsc

Registered User
Apr 4, 2018
217
Last night, instead of the mertazapine, I gave my OH 2 diazepam, and it seemed to work a treat, he did get up once for the loo, but no drama, and he went straight back to bed, and today he has been ok. He is still stressing about cutting the grass, he checks the shed, checks his boots, trousers etc, but on the whole, a tad easier. He is currently sleeping in his chair, but he does that anyway. I’m going to try the same again tonight.
 

Weasell

Registered User
Oct 21, 2019
626
Last night, instead of the mertazapine, I gave my OH 2 diazepam, and it seemed to work a treat, he did get up once for the loo, but no drama, and he went straight back to bed, and today he has been ok. He is still stressing about cutting the grass, he checks the shed, checks his boots, trousers etc, but on the whole, a tad easier. He is currently sleeping in his chair, but he does that anyway. I’m going to try the same again tonight.
Diazepam is a wonderful drug.
Remember to be alert for any changes or troubles with breathing.
No grapefruit!
Wishing you a good night!
 

Sandy47

Registered User
Aug 14, 2019
19
I feel for you @Sandy47. I honestly haven’t had an undisturbed sleep since before Christmas and in the past couple of months mum has been been taking her pull-ups down and weeing everywhere. Last night she came downstairs after being in bed a couple of hours and when I took her back upstairs there was wee all on the landing, down the stairs and a big puddle in the hall. Lack of sleep, mopping up in the early hours and washing every day is exhausting.

I posted a while ago about the same problem and the suggestions I received were to restrict evening drinks which I was already doing, try puppy pads which I did but I can’t cover the whole house and the ones I put in the bathroom and bedroom are just kicked aside. Other suggestions were to try a commode which I haven't yet done and to put pictures up on the door which I had already tried. Although these didn’t work for me, they may for you.

I also read a suggestion to another post about using a onesie that fastens at the back but I’m not keen, seems a bit like a straight jacket to me.

Someone said there husband has a similar problem called nocturnal polyuria but from what I understand there is no treatment.

Mum was put on Mirtazapine in the middle of this and it made her night time confusion worse. She would only sleep for an hour or two then get up and wee on the bed and though I have a mattress protector it doesn’t cover the sides.
The only solution for me is to live in a house of plastic 🥴 though I don’t know what I can doo with the lack of sleep.

Good luck
Thank you for the information. I really feel for you too. I am getting used to waking 2 or three times each night and getting to him before he starts wetting, so not so much cleaning up at the moment. I know it will get worse but just want to get through each day and night as they come. I noticed last night he squatted to sit on the toilet a foot away from it which is why he leaves puddles on the floor so am considering buying a red raised toilet seat frame. They cost about £100 which seems a lot for a plastic contraption but if it works it would be worth it. A waste of money if it doesn't!!
Hope you find a way of getting some undisturbed sleep.
 

Weasell

Registered User
Oct 21, 2019
626
Thank you for the information. I really feel for you too. I am getting used to waking 2 or three times each night and getting to him before he starts wetting, so not so much cleaning up at the moment. I know it will get worse but just want to get through each day and night as they come. I noticed last night he squatted to sit on the toilet a foot away from it which is why he leaves puddles on the floor so am considering buying a red raised toilet seat frame. They cost about £100 which seems a lot for a plastic contraption but if it works it would be worth it. A waste of money if it doesn't!!
Hope you find a way of getting some undisturbed sleep.
B and Q had red toilet seats for £20, would that be a cheaper compromise?
The grey toilet frames can be purchased very cheaply!