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newly diagnosed

connie

Registered User
Mar 7, 2004
9,519
Frinton-on-Sea
Dear Daisy, welcome to TP. We may not be able to DO anything practical, but here you will receive understanding, advice, support, friendship and much, much more.

So feel for you at this time, try to stay calm, and accepting, at least of the illness.
Nothing, unfortunately, is going to change that, but with acceptance comes a sort of calm.

Then you will be able to move forward hopefully. Please feel free to post anytime, on any subject. I feel sure you will get some positive feedback soon.

Take care of yourself, Connie
 

Amy

Registered User
Jan 4, 2006
3,453
Hiya Daisy,
Don't think I can say anything of any use, just wanted to say "Hello". I'm so sorry that you have had a bad day, I hope that it improved a bit for you this afternoon.
You and your husband are having to face a terrible thing so early in your lives, it must be so difficult for both of you.

I don't wish to pry, but do you think your husband's family may come round in time? Are there any voluntary agencies that may provide a sitter; others on here I am sure will make some suggestions where you might seek help.

It must be difficult, but try and remember that the abuse is the disease, and not your husband, though I remember how difficult my dad found it at times. Remember, you are not
useless, dumb, stupid, worthless
You are doing your best to support your husband, with what sounds like very little support from anyone else.

You will get plenty of support on here, though we cannot be there to give you a rest; I think just knowing that you can come on here and say whatever is on your mind, and ask for advice, will make you feel less alone though.

Look forward to talking to you again.

Best wishes.
Amy
 

DaisyG

Registered User
Feb 20, 2006
183
North West England
New Girl Update....

Dear All,


Thank you for your replies.


I HAVE totally accepted our situation...
I know that things can't be changed in any way....
I am as calm and relaxed as I could possibly be.
I NEVER let my husband see me cry.... or how sad I am....
I do my very best never to get cross or angry myself... or show it ....
I remain very focused....
(If I feel angry in any way I leave the room.....)


Strangely, my husband 'miss-hears' a lot of things...
He genuinely believes I shout at him.... most of the time...

He turns the TV down so low that no-one can possibly 'hear it' ...yet insists that he can.
Then another day he can have the TV up so loud that the neighbours could hear it.....
The list of things he does goes on and on.....

He's yelled at me for putting his coffee cup down too loud on the coaster...
He actually 'saw and heard' me slam it down... (Not).
He's even yelled at me for 'putting the top back on a pen too noisily' !!


He 'miss-sees' things on TV too. What he 'sees' and what he 'says' are and can be so different.

His recollection of past events can be varied.
He mixes a lot of events up.... and makes up what he feels like too.


Most days it seems that I can do no right.


(I do know that I am not in the least bit dumb, stupid etc etc....
Some days he says these things to me and they really hurt...other days it seems
less painfull. Must be my 'girlie' hormones...or something !!).



As for family....
They never have accepted his stroke... let alone the dementia.
They have refused to visit from the beginning.
(MY GUESS IS THAT THEY DID NOT START TO VISIT ... AS THEY COULD NOT COMMIT TO KEEPING IT UP..... DOES THAT MAKE SENSE ???)
Not much anyone can say about them... I try not to let it worry me too much.
(I've a few 'private' choice words for them...).
So, .... NO I know that they will NEVER change.... Why should they?


Glad I finally found this chatroom....
I hope I can offer advice to others in the future.........

(I'm a real 'fighter' when it comes to DLA and disabled issues...
It has taken me 2 years of 'fighting' for my husbands rights !!)

Take Care Everyone,

Daisy.
 

wendy43uk

Registered User
Dec 22, 2005
64
sheffield
hi

my hubby goes to day center one like yores out for walks snooker club stuff like that as he is young wich is brill he goes 4 times a week when he went in restbite wich i admit is hard to find if uou are under 60 i told them how john was at home not been a pad user he was not put one on i work in a nurcing home and i will never understand why homes put pads on people that dont need them it makes the job harder for one as well as been un plesant for th user cant uou tell them how uou want things done the home should respect your wishes as uou are paying them hope this helps