Newbie to this

[DP3956]

I need to have someplace where I can just vent. My spouse was diagnosed 6 years ago and can still hold a conversation, but with lots of pausing, and searching for words. I find myself very impatient waiting for him to spit it out and have to work very hard to not tell him to get on with it. I never thought I would get to this. It is incredibly hard watching the love of your life become someone who once strong, protective, and wonderful all around become someone I have to take care of almost like a child. I have to help him get dressed, shower, shave and help him with his food. I can no longer sleep at night as my mind cannot shut off thinking about what has happened during the day, what I have to do the next day and the future. I dont like the future I see in my mind and I know it is not his fault at all. He did not ask for this, nor have I. It is just horrendous. Is anyone on this post with someone that is at least 6 years into this and I dont even know what stage he is in. Its so frustrating, even the drs have a hard time telling you anything. You are just living in limbo

 

[2ndAlto]

Hello @DP3956, welcome to the forum. I understand exactly what you are saying, my OH was diagnosed several years ago too. I know I was horribly impatient with him and feel very guilty about it now - reading this https://www.alzsd.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/COMMUNICATION-Compassionate-Communication.pdf helped me to learn to be a bit kinder and more patient with him.

I know it is awful having to be the one in the relationship who has to do everything and even worse seeing what you hoped was your future evaporate before your eyes and a totally different future to the one you imagined starts to appear.

Have you got any help or respite?

 

[Grannie G]

Welcome to the forum @DP3956

Full time caring for 6 years will take it out of anyone. Do you have any help? Have you had a carers assessment?

Carer's assessment | Carers UK

www.carersuk.org

I know neither you nor your husband asked for this and what I kept reminding myself when I cared for my husband is it could have been me. I don`t know if this will help you or not.

I`m repeating the link @2ndAlto posted just in case the broken link doesn't work.

Compassionate Communication with the Memory Impaired

The following piece was posted a while ago on DSF and made a big impression on me. It is something I have referred to time after time and tried hard to follow. We have many new members who may not have seen it before. Yesterday I posted it on another Thread but thought it might be helpful if...

forum.alzheimers.org.uk