Hi all, I’m new to the forum and could do with some advice! My gran has vascular dementia diagnosed 3 years ago although would say she’s had dementia for at least 3 or 4 years before that. Me and my mum moved my gran along with my grandad also ill with Parkinson’s disease dementia in to an annexe joined to our house. To cut a long story short he’s been in hospital for 7 weeks and we really have no idea if he will get to come home as he’s very ill with psychosis. My gran is dependent so we had to move her in to the house with us. Only after being with her 24/7 for 7 weeks have we realised just how little she can do... nothing what so ever, she won’t even be left in a room on her own for a minute so it’s been very tough. I honestly don’t know how my grandad managed, I guess he didn’t and that’s why he’s now so ill in hospital. We are managing to cope and were considering this to be a permanent thing if my grandad can’t come home but we have a major problem which is incontinence, bowel and urine! We can deal with the urine but the bowel incontinence is a whole bigger problem. She never ever asks to go to the toilet so we ask at numerous times during the day but she just says I don’t need to go. We get her to go in the bathroom before getting in to bed at 11pm but almost every morning by 6am / 7am I can only describe it as waking up to a murder scene but it’s not blood it’s poo, and it’s everywhere, all over her bedroom carpet, clothes, doors, walls, she must stand in it because then there’s footsteps all along the landing carpet then we go in the bathroom and she’s covered that in poo also. The hand prints will be along the walls where she’s touched with the poo on her hands. We can’t tell whether she’s having the accident in underwear, in just pyjamas, or just deciding to go on the floor or just having some kind of poo party. The smell is something else. The house just now constantly smells of poo and wee and even if we almost manage to not be able to smell it so badly she’ll do it again anyway. Is there any solution to this? Am I crazy to think she may pass this stage? We are trying to put it down to her husband being in hospital but it’s very difficult to live with and if by any luck he can come home there is no way he could deal with this in the annexe alone! She was having wee accidents in the annexe but I personally haven’t known of any poo accidents. My gran has and always is adamant there is nothing wrong with her and she will never go in a care home. This is our plan to keep them out of a care home but I’m not sure I can deal with this day in day out with out going stir crazy.