I am trying to come to terms with my 64 year old mother’s condition. Her GP is indicating to my sister and me that it is probably dementia. However, the GP hasn’t said as much to mum. Next week we are to see a neurologist. The GP has said the specialist may prescribe medication for mum. I am wondering if the specialist will spell out to us and mum that it IS dementia. My mother keeps asking me what I think the specialist will say. I repeat what the GP has said… I don’t think saying anything else is helpful. I worry what the condition means for mum’s future. She lives alone and has been a widow for over 30 years. She is gone through some sad times in her life. She has also caused me great sadness and heart ache. I am trying to come to terms with the fact that I have to put some of this sorrow behind me and accept I will be supporting her in the years to come. Our relationship has had its ups and downs. My sister’s relationship has been worse but she is forcing herself to be involved in mum’s diagnosis. I feel guilty that I resent my mother and the pain she has caused me. I feel guilty that I want to run away and not have to deal with her and this situation. I feel I want my own life. My partner and I are planning to start a family. And I feel resentful that I can barely keep my work and home life going without breaking down plus trying to cope with my mother. Mum’s GP has described her condition has showing ‘significant deficit’. She indicated she doesn’t know how long mum could continue to live alone. My sister has suggested that I live closer. I live 20 minutes at the moment (my sister lives an hour away). As it is, I take mum to all her appointments, monitor her dossette box of medication, take her shopping, speak to her every day on the phone and call in every other day. I can’t believe my sister would suggest I live closer. I could scream. My partner says wait until the specialist gives a diagnosis and prescribes treatment, and we can take it from there. I cry every day. I cry especially when I read the TP board. A dear friend has recommended a counsellor I could speak to. My poor friend is getting over the loss of her husband and I keep crying on her! When the GP did the mini-test (I can’t remember the official name of it), mum couldn’t subtract 7 from 100, she couldn’t copy a diagram – she couldn’t really write anything. I’ve known for a while that she is able to write less and less. Her signature is probably barely legal. I feel that she has declined over the last 2 years. I realise now that I’ve been ignoring her slow memory loss but it may have been increasing over the last 6 months. Perhaps I’ve been denying what’s happened. I apologise for this long ramble. I feel I need to tell someone. I have been reading the fantastic Alzheimers Australia website. I’m not really sure what I should first – there seems so much to do.