1. daisy

    daisy Registered User

    Aug 8, 2005
    2
    Brittany France
    hi i am new to this website and i am just finding out how things work at the moment i have just come back from england (i live in france) i have visited my mum whilst there who celebrated her 60th birthday it was a very special day for all the family but a very sad day aswell . i am still in the stage of why my mum what has she ever done to anybody, and the guilt you have of do you see her enough i know this is normal but not knowing how long she has makes it all the more difficult
     
  2. DEBBIE LUDGATE

    DEBBIE LUDGATE Registered User

    I'm new too!!

    Hi Daisy,
    I think the element of feeling guilty never really goes away. My mum is in hospital now as she was living alone and her 'care package' basically fell apart. There were too many problems too mention!! Anyway eight months down the line and she's still in hospital where the medics are trying to find the appropriate medication. Mum is now in the moderate/severe stages of AD and I always feel guilty when I visit, when I don't visit etc. You should cherish your time together when you do get to see your mum and try not to be so hard on yourself. We are so very lucky that we have spent some valuable and special times with these wonderful women and we have, in our own hearts part of their spirit and cherished memories that we can hold onto for them.

    Deb L
     
  3. daisy

    daisy Registered User

    Aug 8, 2005
    2
    Brittany France
    hi Debbie

    thanks for the reply the same thing happened to mum she was in hospital for 4 months untill they found her a place at a care home for younger people, since being in there she has settled much better, but unfortunatly she is in the later stages of the diesease. But i try to remember all the special times we had together as a family, but it is hard when you such anger inside, my only regret is that i didnt spend as much time with her when she was well, but then nobody knows what the future holds. Thank you again for the reply it helps to know other people in the same situation

    daisy
     
  4. HeatherJayne

    HeatherJayne Registered User

    Aug 12, 2005
    1
    I'm new too!!

    Hi
    I'm new too and likewise, am just finding out how things work. My mum is just turned 65 and going through what seems like an endless period of diagnosis. It just seems so unfair that this is happening. I am only 24 and feels like my mother is already beyond my reach. I feel really bad for my father who has to devote his tiem to looking after my mother and I feel like I should take more responsibility but I don't live near them anymore. Moving back would mean moving away from all my friends where I live now and leaving my job and everything. I feel so guitly and selfish, but really angry at the same time.
    It seems like my parents are receiving little help form soical services - is this what other people are finding? What happened when the 'care' package you refer to fell apart, Debbie?
    I'm finding it really hard to cope with this and would appreciate some advice from people who are goign throguh the same thign, because, needless to say, none of my friends here are and I find it really hard to talk about.
     
  5. DEBBIE LUDGATE

    DEBBIE LUDGATE Registered User

    Hi,
    Sorry for delay in replying. Don't always have access to PC. My Mum's care package basically fell apart due to lack of carers/agencies. We had so many problems with carers as the agencies were constantly changing her carer's and Mum then needed consistency and famaliarity. Plus of course she must thave felt threatened by new faces all the while and she did infact become quite nasty with a few. The final straw came when an agency sent an 18 year old carer round to see Mum, I mean, what on earth were they thinking of. Mum ended up slapping her and Social Services pulled the plug. THey then requested that Mum should be sectioned into hospital and it took every ounce of will and strength for me and my sister to drive her to hospital. It was very, very distressing for all and I will never forget that day for as long as I live. Anyway it is yet another 'bone of contention' for me as the limitations and restrictions on people who have EOAD is endless. I feel for you, being so young yourself, I am 39, married with two girls, one of which has Downs Syndrome so my life is pretty hectic as it is. It is alot for you to cope with but there are people who you can talk to and I will listen and share my experiences if I can. I am, thankfully quite a strong person myself but I have learnt alot from watching how this awful illness affects not only the person themselves but their loved ones who care for them. You are not on your own and I, and others who use this site are here to help each other.

    Debbie :)
     

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