Hi mum had been diagnosed with Dementia about 5 years ago although it seems that she had it for some years previously,
she went into a nursing home nearly 4 years ago because my father who was disabled could no longer give her the care and attention that she needed and I work full time running my own businesses and therefore (as much as I would have liked to)could not just 'hand in my notice' and care for her. (one of my biggest regrets and guilt pangs).
Dad passed away three years ago so I have been overseeing mums care.
I have been a constant reader of the forum at the various stages of mums illness and have found strength and support from postings, replies and information and decided that as she was in the latter stages and my strength was dipping, that I would join which I did on Saturday.
This Sunday afternoon, mum passed away having been very ill for the past few weeks and receiving palliative care for the last 10 days.
Although I spent most of last week at her side (crying a lot of the time), she passed just after I had left the nursing home to have a break and get her something at a local shopping centre.
The numbness I feel at the moment is frightening, I am in a daze making the preparations for her funeral, I have a mixture of feelings of pain, grief, peace,relief that her pain is over and again it has been helpful to read postings and to know that I am not the only one to feel this.
For the last 4 years all my focus has been on mum, I visited her almost every day but I still feel such terrible guilt that I could not take this awful disease away from her or stop it in its tracks.
Sorry to go on but it helps to write it down.
she went into a nursing home nearly 4 years ago because my father who was disabled could no longer give her the care and attention that she needed and I work full time running my own businesses and therefore (as much as I would have liked to)could not just 'hand in my notice' and care for her. (one of my biggest regrets and guilt pangs).
Dad passed away three years ago so I have been overseeing mums care.
I have been a constant reader of the forum at the various stages of mums illness and have found strength and support from postings, replies and information and decided that as she was in the latter stages and my strength was dipping, that I would join which I did on Saturday.
This Sunday afternoon, mum passed away having been very ill for the past few weeks and receiving palliative care for the last 10 days.
Although I spent most of last week at her side (crying a lot of the time), she passed just after I had left the nursing home to have a break and get her something at a local shopping centre.
The numbness I feel at the moment is frightening, I am in a daze making the preparations for her funeral, I have a mixture of feelings of pain, grief, peace,relief that her pain is over and again it has been helpful to read postings and to know that I am not the only one to feel this.
For the last 4 years all my focus has been on mum, I visited her almost every day but I still feel such terrible guilt that I could not take this awful disease away from her or stop it in its tracks.
Sorry to go on but it helps to write it down.