1. lyn

    lyn Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    25
    surrey
    Hi, my mum was diagnosed with AD 2 years ago. She has little instant memory (she constantly repeats herself) and gets confused easily. I recently stumbled on this site and reading some of your posts has made me realise how difficult the future is going to be trying to look after mum. She lives alone and attends a day centre 5 days a week. She gets a good meal at the centre & on Tue I take her shopping & make sure she has a good cooked breakfast inside her lol. She looks forward to this & although she doesn't know when Tue is each week she never forgets that I take her shopping 1 day in the week, bless.
    She thinks she works with children & the staff at the centre are happy to go along with this as if she thought she was a patient she would spit chips!
    Mum constantly asks me not to put her in a home & I tell her not to be so daft but I know a time will come when I just won't be able to cope. My sis and I decided it was no longer safe for mum to drive as she kept running red lights & forgetting where the car was or how to start it. She went berserk when we eventually took her car away, her consultant said to tell her that she confirmed mum was not fit to drive anymore so that she would not blame my sis or me. For about a year it was a nightmare. Mum kept asking where her car was.
    Mum stayed with me over Christmas & stupidly I didn't realise that mum didn't know where she was when she woke in the morning nor where the bathroom was hence we had a rather upsetting start to our Christmas day (I'll say no more).

    I wonder where all this is going. It kills me that mum has become so vulnerable and I know that she will fight us tooth and nail if she has to go into a home. I cannot physically get into mums house as I am a wheelchair user & steps prevent me getting in, if mum forgets how to put her TV on or change channel I try & help her over the phone but it's not easy. If she looses keys I have to try and find them by curtesy of BT!

    She doesn't remember what she's eaten nor what food she has on her plate (thank goodness for the day centre) & she wears the same clothes to the centre most days, I tell her to change her clothes but she forgets. I'm not sure if she baths/washes anymore. I feel so helpless trying to look after her from a distance. I phone her 3/4 times a day every day to make sure she has a snack or cup of tea. (She still remembers how to make tea/coffee) She had a drink problem whereby she forgot how many drinks (whiskey) she had & would end up drinking the whole bottle & my sis would find her comatosed under the table. She walks to local shops & buys the stuff. It's a nightmare. All this reads quite higgledy piggledy but its helped to write it all down. Sorry for waffling on. I'm sure I'll find a way to deal with whatever presents itself to me. Thanks for taking time to read this.
    Lyn
     
  2. Charlie

    Charlie Registered User

    Apr 1, 2003
    161
    Hi Lyn and welcome to the group,

    It sounds like you are doing amazing things for your mum and she is very lucky to have someone who cares for her so much. I'm sure a lot of us can empathise with your situation and how much hard work it can be.

    Reading your post again makes me realise how different each situation is and how there is not one solution for each person or carer especially at a practical level. We just do that best that we can I guess.

    Good luck with your trials and tribulations and really glad you found this friendly little forum.

    Kind Regards
    Charlie....
     
  3. lyn

    lyn Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    25
    surrey
    Thank you

    It was kind of you to reply Charlie, thank you. I'm so glad I found this site, it kinda makes me feel that I'm not on my own. Dealing with mums situation as well as her finances, house maintenance etc, etc I often feel I'm just going round in circles even though my husband is very supportive it's a help being able to "speak" to people who actually know what I'm talking about.

    Lyn
     
  4. Charlie

    Charlie Registered User

    Apr 1, 2003
    161
    Yep it's a real juggling act - don't forget to look after yourself.
    Kind Regards
    Charlie...
     

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