New to this

[Lala69]

Hello, I’m new to this group and looking for some advice from people experienced with dementia care providers. My 94 year old uncle, having deteriorated drastically during a hospital stay after a fall, has been assigned to a care home, 200 miles away from us. Mere hours after his admission we had a phone call to say he’d fallen in the dining room and cut his head open (cue ambulance and another short hospital admission). Subsequently they told us he was falling as he got out of bed and that they would need to remove all his furniture, and TV, from his room and place a mattress on the floor instead of a bed. We’ve had a shocking picture of him, from a neighbour who visited, laying on the floor, in a nappy and no trousers (apparently crawling around the floor and continuously banging his head against the wooden door jamb) of what can only be described as a padded holding cell, with ‘crash-mats’ lining the walls and floor. However, what upset me most was finding out that a member of staff was trying to force feed him minced meat, when he has been a committed vegetarian his entire adult life, a fact which they were informed of on 4 separate occasions during his admission; no wonder he was refusing to eat, he obviously still has some of his mental faculties, which is why this is all so upsetting. I realise dementia care is difficult for anyone, and I wonder if I’m being unrealistic in my expectations, but I wanted to check whether ANY of the above is considered ‘normal‘ for dementia care before I drive 200 miles at the weekend and give them both barrels. We’re less concerned about his physical wellbeing at this stage, and just want his final days not to be made mental purgatory by unacceptable care. He currently doesn’t have any comfort or stimulation in his room, not a chair to sit in or a TV to watch (which was previously his favourite pastime). We just want him to have the best care possible, without making unreasonable demands. Thank you for reading, any input would be very welcome.

 

[special 1]

That is just disgusting how your uncle is being treated. At times a dog would not get treated like that .My husband has fallen issues also, but I would rather have him around his own home even though it is tough. No one should be treated like that. Put your foot down. 💔💔💔

 

[Grannie G]

I`m shocked and disturbed to read of your uncle`s experience @Lala69 and can only suggest you inform adult social services of elder abuse.

Action on Elder Abuse

Action on Elder Abuse (AEA) is a specialist organisation that unlike other 'older people's organisations' focuses exclusively on the issue of elder abuse.

www.thenationalcareline.org

 

[SeaSwallow]

That is truly awful @Lala69 and I am so pleased that your uncle has you to fight his corner. Please follow @Grannie G's advice.

 

[Gosling]

Absolutely @Lala69 , agree with what @Grannie G has said. This is abuse and is totally unacceptable. No wonder you are so upset with what is going on with your Uncle. Do follow her advice please

 

[Lala69]

Thank you for your comments, and for confirming my opinion. I wasn’t sure if I was being unrealistic about the level of care I should be expecting. I will certainly be contacting the social care team and making my feelings known when I visit the home at the weekend.