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New to the forum

Bellarena

New member
Jul 31, 2020
3
Hello everyone,

I am new to this website/forum and have been encouraged to join by one of my sons! Hoping to talk to other members who are in a similar situation to me. I have a partner who has vascular mixed who has just recently lost his daughter (only child) so it has quite a stressful time. From hearing about her death to the funeral I spoke to him about her every day. I don't know if I should keep talking to him about her or not? I don't want to keep reminding him about her as it may distress him. Has anyone been in a similar situation?
 

jaymor

Volunteer Moderator
Jul 14, 2006
13,228
England
Hi @Bellarena and welcome to the forum.

I would say stop now, be lead by him. If he mentions her then fine. You are right it’s not good to keep repeating the information especially if it upsets him.

Once my husband started sAying he had not spoken to his sister and must give her a ring I knew he had forgotten her death and to tell him she had passed away would distress him. I also found he would forget something that upset or distressed him and he would be down and anxious but not know why he felt that way. So his sister became a very busy lady, shopping. Holidaying, at the hairdressers, working , anything that prevented him calling her at that particular moment. She would then be forgotten for a while.

It’s so sad when the opportunity to remember and talk about old times etc within the family is taken away, but so much easier to deal with when the person with dementia is not upset or anxious.
 

Bellarena

New member
Jul 31, 2020
3
Hi @Bellarena and welcome to the forum.

I would say stop now, be lead by him. If he mentions her then fine. You are right it’s not good to keep repeating the information especially if it upsets him.

Once my husband started sAying he had not spoken to his sister and must give her a ring I knew he had forgotten her death and to tell him she had passed away would distress him. I also found he would forget something that upset or distressed him and he would be down and anxious but not know why he felt that way. So his sister became a very busy lady, shopping. Holidaying, at the hairdressers, working , anything that prevented him calling her at that particular moment. She would then be forgotten for a while.

It’s so sad when the opportunity to remember and talk about old times etc within the family is taken away, but so much easier to deal with when the person with dementia is not upset or anxious.
Thank you for helping