Hi my name is Mandy and I'm a full time carer for my mum she was diagnosed with multiple dementia in October, her memory is getting worse and she is experiencing Sundowning between the hours of 6.30pm and 8.30pm I honestly don't know what to do , shes so confused about nothing though I try to reassure her everything is OK but not sure if I'm doing it right or not 😢
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hi @mandy21 . Personally, I wouldn't keep trying to reassure her everything is fine. I've learned to live in her world which is her reality. I never question anything she says and just agree with her and we have some amazing conversations about pure rubbish. Sundowning can be difficult, i went through that stage before I realised what it was. Once I was aware of it I made allowances for it knowing she would get through it. You'll go through many different stages of dementia as I have (and still do) and manage a way round them. I've managed to overcome toilet issues, multilayering etc etc etc. Don't be afraid to post on here as things progress (deteriorate) we've all had various experiences.
I only live 4 doors away from my mum and as my partner and son had gone to football yesterday I said do u want to come to mine 4 the day, which she said yes, we had a lovely day laughing watching snooker (her favourite) ordered take away but between 6.30pm and 7pm she changed ,this was her house , screaming at my cats to get out shouting at my daughter because she had friends upstairs in her bedroom (she idolised my daughter and has never told her off ever) I asked if she wanted to go home she said this is my house she refused to eat or drink after, I really did not know what to do, I found a channel on TV with music on I put that on , tried talking but she wouldn't reply to me after an hour she came round , and she went home about 10pm quite happy and went to bed no arguments, I found it so strange and this morning she is back to her normal happy self ...
Welcome @mandy21
I hope this will help you
forum.alzheimers.org.uk
I hope this will help you
Compassionate Communication with the Memory Impaired
The following piece was posted a while ago on DSF and made a big impression on me. It is something I have referred to time after time and tried hard to follow. We have many new members who may not have seen it before. Yesterday I posted it on another Thread but thought it might be helpful if...
forum.alzheimers.org.uk
I'm wondering whether your mum got overtired. I always had to get mum back before she started sundowning
Hello @mandy21 It does sound as if your mum is sundowning as she gets tired and this is hard to deal with. I have attached a link which explains a little about sundowning and how to deal with it.
www.alzheimers.org.uk
Sundowning and dementia
Sometimes a person with dementia will behave in ways that are difficult to understand in the late afternoon or early evening. This is known as 'Sundowning'.
www.alzheimers.org.uk
