New Member.


Registered User
Jun 5, 2008
Hi all, I have just joined today, My mum has just been diagnosed with alzheimer's so we have brought her to live with us, (me & my husband) as it is all new to me I thought somewhere like this would help answer any questions we may have,and maybe help prepare us for what to expect further down the line, we havent told mum about the diagnosis as we feel it will only upset her, how have others got over this? it is quite difficult seeing the changes in her, but for the moment we are just taking one day at a time and doing the best we can for as long as we can, I realy don't want to put her in care, but I no it may come to that one day. I have been reading some of the posts on here and you seem a friendly bunch.


Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
SW Scotland
Hi marg, welcome to TP.

Good for you, having your mum to live with you, it's not going to be easy, but you'll find lots of support here.:)

As for telling your mum, it's really up to you, there's no right or wrong.

You know your mum best, and if you think it would upset her to know, then keep it from her. But you have to be careful that the doctors, and anyone else involved, know that she doesn't know. If someone let it slip, it would come as such a shock, and would upset her that you'd kept it from her.

She may start asking questions, and then you might have to re-think, on the other hand, it may not occur to her to ask.

Anyway, good luck with that, and post any questions you may have, there are lots of members who will have had similar experiences.

Best wishes,


Registered User
May 17, 2008
Hi Marg

Welcome to T/P the support you will receive here as it was said to me will not fix things but it just might help alittle that day.

I care for my mam .




Registered User
Aug 9, 2007
N E England
Hi marg89. Welcome to T/P. :)

How wonderful you are taking your Mum to live with you. Remember when things get tough, we are here for you. With regards to telling her about her diagnosis, or not I wouldn't worry too much. It was taken out of my hands with my Dad as he was told at the memory clinic and was upset & tearful for an hour or two but soon forgot the diagnosis anyway. We just refer to it as 'his memory' problems now.


Registered User
Oct 15, 2005
Hi Marg, welcome to TP. Hope you find much support here, it does help.:) We didn't tell my Mum of the diagnosis, it only came three years ago and we believe she started showing first symptoms back in 1996. She would have been devastated to know, so we used to refer to her memory problems. It's different for all people though, only you know how Mum would take it so I would say go with what feels best for your situation.
Take care and come back and post.


Registered User
Jun 5, 2008
Thank you

Thank you all for your kind messages, i'm realy gonna need a place like this for advice and general chat about whats happening to my mum, friends are so kind, but, if they havent been through this kind of thing they realy cannot understand how hard it is watching someone you Love slipping away,I am very close to my mum and feel like I am losing a little bit of her each day, Thank you all again for your support.