1. turbo

    turbo Registered User

    Aug 1, 2007
    3,851
    Hello, Mum is 80 and in very good physical health. She has never been on any medication and has never been in hospital for any reason. Visits to the doctor are once a year for a flu jab. She lives alone and the house and garden are kept clean and tidy. She dresses well and cooks for herself. She is out all day most days meeting friends, walking, shopping but no longer drives a car. Bills are paid with cash but she does struggle with financial matters. She hates living alone and wants to be with someone all the time.
    We have noticed problems for the last three and a half years but she refuses to see a doctor. Her short term memory is very poor and she occasionally has hallucinations. Holidays are a real problem as she says she loves going on holiday ( we have mostly been on holiday together for the last twelve years ) but she becomes completely disoriented while away and has no awareness of where she is. Trying to persuade her not to book another holiday is impossible.
    She still reads magazines and newspapers (the prime reason for buying a daily newsaper is so she knows what day it is) but she does not appear to retain any information for long. She no longer enjoys television.
    I have no doubt that she would present well in any medical consultation.
    I have read many posts on this forum and learned a lot.
    However Mum does not appear to have deteriorated at all during the last three and a half years and I just wondered if anyone else has a relative whose condition has stayed the same for such a long time.

    Thank you for reading this,

    Turbo
     
  2. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,418
    Hi turbo, and welcome to Talking Point.

    Firstly, while I have to say that none of us are medical professionals, and even if we were it obviously wouldn't be possible to diagnose online, it does occur to me that your mother could possible have had a stroke at some time in the past. I mention this, becasue my mother exhibited the short-term memory loss issues that you mention for several years priors to having a "major" stroke. When they did the scans to diagnose that, they discovered that she had damage from a stroke that had obviously ocurred several years previosuly. I had taken her to the GP when I noticed the memory issues, and was irritatingly told "normal ageing". If I had known then what I know now... The point being that a person can have something that leads to a level of brain damage and the "something" may not reoccur (or not for a considerable persiod of time). Of course, it doesn't have to have been a vascular incident: external trauma could account for something like this.
     
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,642
    Kent
    Hello turbo,

    The only really worrying aspect of your mother`s health, to me, is the possibility of her going on holiday alone.

    In all other areas she seems remarkable for a woman of 80, even if her memory is so poor.

    Have you considered asking the advice of her GP, who will probably discuss your mother`s condition with you, as next of kin, if you are so worried. The GP might decide to ask her to visit for a check up, and in view of what you tell him/her, investigate a bit further.

    Please let us know what you decide.

    Love xx
     
  4. turbo

    turbo Registered User

    Aug 1, 2007
    3,851
    Thank you Jennifer and Sylvia for your kind replies. I think our next step will be to talk to Mum's GP and see what she suggests.

    Turbo
     
  5. Clive

    Clive Registered User

    Nov 7, 2004
    716
    Hi Turbo

    My mum was a bit like yours, though she never liked doing anything that meant spending money. (A bigger problem than it sounds !!) . She would never go to the doctor. She had stopped watching TV. She always looked at the paper, and used it to tell her what day it was, and consequently what food to eat that day. House clean but shabby. Garden well maintained.

    I don’t know when mum first showed signs of memory problems but she went for 4 years with only a small change after dad died. (Dad had covered up mum’s memory problems which became obvious to those close to her once she was left on her own without his shield). I started taking mum for her check up every 6 months (I said it was to save her walking but it was to make sure she went.) When I said to the doctor that I was very concerned, mum would always turn on the charm and say she was perfectly alright and that I worried about nothing. (If I was doing it again I think I would contact the doctor first and advise him of my concerns each visit). It was not until mum started to have odd days when she would not get out of bed, (played dead, then jumped out of bed when the locum doctor appeared), that the Practice Nurse took our concerns seriously and got the doctor moving. After a lot of tests mum was prescribed Aricept and lived on her own for a further 4 years before safety concerns meant a move to a nice EMI registered home at the age of 91.

    The best thing I did after dad died was to get an Enduring Power of Attorney set up. It was probably the best couple of hours I have ever spent in my entire life. Then I got Attendance Allowance set up as soon as mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. (I actually got the form whilst the tests were being carried out, the nurse to fill it in as she new what words to use, and the doctor signed it. The Attendance Allowance payments were backdated to the date the blank form was posted to me, and I paid it directly into a savings account. A couple of years later the money was used to pay for extra hours of daily care which helped mum stay in her own home longer.).
    It might sound mercenary, but getting the finances set up as best you can early removes stress later.

    Best wishes for the future.

    Clive
     
  6. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    Clive you are to be commended for forward thinking. What a good son you are to mum.
     
  7. turbo

    turbo Registered User

    Aug 1, 2007
    3,851
    Thank you Clive for your reply and advice. I have printed off EPA forms and we will try and get Mum to sign them. I will try and find some information on attendance allowance as this is something I know nothing about.

    Turbo
     
  8. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,642
    Kent
  9. Margaret W

    Margaret W Registered User

    Apr 28, 2007
    3,725
    North Derbyshire
    Apply for Attendance Allowance NOW, and think hard to the first date your mum started to have problems. Seems a long time ago. Use that date. Be fair with them, if the problems were only supervisory on occasion, maybe a later date is reasonable, but I have recently discovered that the DWP are reasonable people, and they appreciate that Alzheimers isn't a sudden illness and comes on over a long period, so they are now receptive to claims being bakcdated especially if you have taken your parent to the GP on account of memory problems.

    My mum was a mystery patient until she was found in the street at night on 21st June, so that is the date I put on the form. But after that we discovered the milkman, postman, window cleaner, neighbours and the proprietor of the corner shop had been witnessing difficulties for a year.

    To get AA you need to show that the person needed care, not that they were getting it. So I have now put in a claim for AA from June 2006, we will see if they accept it, but verbal conversations with them indiciate that she will. But there is a six month period first.

    Hope your sort it all.

    Margaret
     
  10. turbo

    turbo Registered User

    Aug 1, 2007
    3,851
    Thanks Sylvia and Margaret for your replies.

    Turbo
     
  11. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    #11 Margarita, Sep 17, 2007
    Last edited: Sep 17, 2007
    strange you should say that , because that is when I notices more that they was a change in my mother behavior when she move to gibraltar , she also became completely disoriented . where in UK where she was in her own home she never her sounding so felt secure and safe just a bit forgetful , taking her so far out of her environment for so long a time really showed up the dementia . that move push my mother into the late stages after a while , but she got last stages medication for AZ that help

    so when you say
    I believe that can happen
     
  12. turbo

    turbo Registered User

    Aug 1, 2007
    3,851
    Epa

    Thanks Margarita.

    I have just heard that Money Box Live on Radio 4 this afternoon at 3pm is about EPA soI shall definitely be listening.

    Turbo
     
  13. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,418
    Turbo: well spotted about Money Box. I will, if I may, post a new thread about this programme, just to give everyone a heads up.
     
  14. turbo

    turbo Registered User

    Aug 1, 2007
    3,851
    New

    Thank you Jennifer.

    Turbo
     

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